You've clearly been talking out of your anus from the very beginning because I really can't think of any normal woman, unless she were unhappily married to start with, who would be likely to refuse having sex with her husband for longer than a couple of months after birth. You so remind me of the Tom Cruise character in Magnolia - a sad, cocky SOB.
Is that a chick flick? Obviously, you have tunnel vision after having a baby, but I'm talking about frequency in general--not just after birth. People who used to have sex every day or every other day now become frustrated at once a week or once a month. Capice?
How many women have you married? So, you don't know what normal is because all you hear is stories from other women who are probably just like yourself and to you that's normal.
Married men, GENERALLY, aren't getting it enough.
they are not getting it enough due to the fact that most married women with children are EXHAUSTED!!!!!...We are not only helping with 50% or more of the household bills, but doing most of the household chores & child rearing...honestly,do you do your 50%? did you do the laundry or cook, or wash dishes last night? give kids a bath or help with homework? schedule dr's appointments, teachers conferences, groceries?...who's first out of bed each morning, and last to bed each night?
Terrible. First of all, it isn't people--it's women. Women shut it off. The man's sex drive is still there and frustrations abound.
Want a happy, healthy marriage? Recognize that your man still needs attention or he will be tempted to stray. He'll understand if you have to dial it down, but if you compltely shut it off then be prepared for the consequences and don't blame him for seeking other outlets to stave off blue balls.
Take responsibility and save the family with a morning hummer.
dixonada, my husband's sex drive was definitely decreased by the arrival of our baby - at least the first couple of months. He said as much himself. It's the sleep depravation, tension (it's all so new and scary, etc), and other factors. I wouldn't generalise. It's a hurdle but it can definitely be overcome. The man will stray? Talk for yourself! If certain issues aren't dealt with I think the woman may be just as likely to (though perhaps not immediately after the birth).
Is this the Daniela show? We're talking in general here and we're not talking about a couple of months--we're talking a protracted decrease in activity.
If you think I am joking, see what happens when you stop sexing your husband 6 months or a year. I promise you he'll be getting it elsewhere.
Too often a woman's libido falls off a cliff after having children and then the man is to blame when he's stuck between marriage and sexual frustration. So, save family/give sex whenever he wants it.
Sex and physical intimacy is something that should be given freely by BOTH partners it isn't the responsibility of the wife to make sure her hubby is all happy and sated...he has some responsibility to understand that his partner needs time to readjust to life after baby. It is a partnership for goodness sake not a one sided dog and pony show!
Oh and sex will never, ever save a troubled marriage....
How about trying to encourage her to want it, or does what she want matter to a caveman mentality such as your?
Women may need help from their man feeling sexy again after childbirth...it's a life altering experience, for both partners. Having children can alter the way you percieve yourself and your parner. Both need to make a conscious effort to maintain a sensual and attentive identity towards each other.
My, you are one large, quivering knob on legs, aren't you. Love how you give perfect strangers (even in general) advice on how to deal with their marriages and sex lives - the naive arrogance of it all is too much even for a caricature. Pray, wtf would you know about anything? You carry on learning about life from Cosmo and men's magazines and making assumptions aplenty, why don't you. It's probably only on the internet that you can vent like this without getting hit in the gob.
Okay, I'll assume something got lost in translation since you suddenly went on the offensive. Is it because I'm imploring women to have more sex?
Think of how many men out there ended up getting married just because they didn't want to lose the hottest piece of ass who's been banging him like a pornstar? Then, when she finally gets that ring on her finger, starts turning off the spigot? Understand when expectations start changing, desperation sets in.
My advice is for family not marriage.
Very interesting indeed - this woman makes some very perceptive points. As the mother of a 6-month-old boy, I can definitely relate to what she's saying. That said, breast-feeding women have a drastically decreased libido as a result of hormones, which make them less sexually active in order to protect their offspring. It's a biological thing... it helps to be aware of it, though. Whichever way you look at it, having kids turns you inside out!
Also makes sure her body has time to heal from carrying and giving birth. It takes the body about three years to fuly return to a pre-pregnancy state so it makes sense for nature to pre-program a way to limit libido for the first critical months. Still for some of us even breast feeding doesn't curb the libido :) For me it made me crave physical attention which pelased my husband to no end LOL.
hm well im not really married and couldnt have sex anyways so i dont really give a crap
This is the exact reason why i'm going to wait many many years after i'm married to have children lol.
