How To Be Honest: Seven Tips
Knowing when and how to be honest is what will make your relationship last.
When necessary, wave the white flag. Sometimes intense discussions are difficult and exhausting. If you're trying to be honest with each other, make sure you allow one another to "drop out" at some point for a cooling off period or some down time. Example: I want to resolve this with you but I need a few minutes to cool off. Can we take a ten-minute break?
Be mature. No name-calling, derisive remarks, or belittling contemptuous comments should be allowed when carrying on an honest conversation with a loved one. Example: I have something important to discuss with you, but it's a very sensitive topic for me, so could we schedule a time to discuss this?
Allow for a few white lies. In every honest relationship there comes a time to keep one's mouth shut. Example: Yes, that skirt looks lovely on you!
Aim for progress, not perfection. Honesty in a relationship requires trust, time and tolerance. Sometimes your spouse shouldn't be the first person to hear about how they're pissing you off, even if you want to tell them. Availing yourself of a confidante in this case is extremely valuable. You can come clean, unedited, with a close trusted friend and then talk to your partner once you've cooled off.
So the next time he asks if he's the best lover you've ever had, or she asks if she looks attractive in a particular dress, remember that honesty is sometimes less important than kindness if you want to be happy together over the long-run.
Discussion
" You can come clean, unedited, with a close trusted friend and then talk to your partner once you've cooled off. " But I thought that it was considered NOT a good idea to talk about a couples relationship problems with a 3rd party entity outside the marriage. Isn't that not being fair to the other spouse?
-- S in Quebec
How about a husband that steals from his wife? I am missing jewelry, some clothes and shoes and other items from my locked bedroom. I was sleeping with my husband in another room with my locked bedroom keys under my mattress, so he is the only one that had potential access to the keys. He has money problems and had to get wedding gifts for his relatives and sisters so he either gave my things out as gifts or sold them. I found his sister with one of my missing hairclips and a bedsheet in her cabinet was mine as well ,which she gave back. Of course he denies, denies, denies he ever entered my locked bedroom without me being there. What can I do in this situation? I have already stopped sleeping in his bedroom with my room keys under the matterss, and am close to filing divorce after I call the police to report theft of my property.
