Approach: "If you're hot enough or I have nothing better, you're in," says Marco, 23, who claims he 'really means well every time [he] screws up.' Be interested, fun and up for anything, but not needy. In fact, don't need anything, because you won't get it. This is all about him, and if you're open to adventure and don't mind clutching coat tails, he'll be happy to take you for a wild ride.
Warning: He is never going to change. You won't fix him. He will crush your heart into pieces, and then snort them up his nose. If you still want to pursue him, go into your room and draw a map of where you're about to hide your self-esteem, because you won't be able to find it later.
Despite their differences, there was one thing that all the men agreed upon: If you have goals for a guy beyond the end of the evening, don't look slutty or be crude in public; we don't want to take that home to mom. Men may love porn, but we don't want to marry a porn star.
Feeling like the topic was thoroughly vetted, I started to close out the tab when a new voice piped up:
"It's so hard and yet so simple," said Phillip, a divorced father of two. "If you want to seduce a man down the aisle, be positive, bring joy to the table, use your brain, laugh, and let us think we are--at least to you--the smartest most interesting man in the world, and that you will always be an advocate for us."
The men all nodded quietly, struck dumb by awe and Heineken, till, with equal reverence, Todd, 34, chimed in: "And you gotta give blow jobs."