“A lot of people because of the rough economy are staying unhappily married,” says Stacy Schneider, lawyer and lawyer and author of He Had It Coming: How to Outsmart Your Husband and Win Your Divorce (Simon Schuster 2008). “The number one reason is the housing slump… the house is the primary marital asset and there’s no money to finance separate lives.”

Schneider relates the story of one New York City couple that constructed a wall down the middle of their living room and lived with the line of demarcation for a year.

Dallas-based Rhonda Mitchell is unable to file for divorce because she can’t afford an attorney. The 41-year-old self-employed hairdresser continues living with her son and husband in a rented house. “It sucks, we haven’t shared a bedroom in months. It’s beyond tension.” She sought legal assistance from a non-profit organization and looked into mediation. Currently, she’s saving up money to retain an attorney and file for divorce. Neither Mitchell, her husband or their seven-year-old son has health insurance.

Dickerson says women in different age groups have different considerations. For example, women who got hitched at 18 or 19 and have been married for 40 years or more decide to stay in troubled unions even though their husbands are having affairs. Often, she says the wives haven’t held jobs outside the home, don’t want to lose a relatively affluent standard of living or give up health insurance benefits. “So they’ll put up with the infidelity, emotional distance, verbal abuse and even physical abuse because submitting to a lower standard of living isn’t desirable,” Dickerson notes. “People in their 30s and 40s are much more financially savvy and are more willing to negotiate.”

Candace Holly, a 26-year-old communications manager who lives in southern Illinois, has been separated for more than two years. “The main reason I’m not divorced right now is I just can’t afford it.” Holly says she doesn’t know where her estranged spouse is and would have to track him down, retain an attorney and send court-ordered documents. Bottom line: It all adds up.

“It started as very heavy verbal and emotional abuse and it escalated to physical violence on occasion. I knew that I had to get out because at the time I was struggling to finish college. I had a job but it didn’t pay me enough to live.” Holly continues to live paycheck to paycheck and has no health insurance.

Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem, a marriage and family therapist and a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, contends that many people don’t understand the difference between a separation agreement and divorce: “You only need a divorce if you want to remarry.

The hard part is getting the separation agreement which is about who gets what stuff, who pays what money, how much equity did each bring in, etc.” Belleghem recommends that couples evaluate what they need to do in their state to obtain a separation agreement.