"In fact, orgasm and ejaculation are two different things," she says. "Orgasm is the peak of sensation, centered in the brain, but often felt as genitally-focused, that often comes with a series of pleasurable muscle contractions. It is often accompanied by ejaculation, but some guys ejaculate almost as a reflex, without that erotic peak of feeling, while some men can feel that peak or climax sensation, sometimes more than once, and never ejaculate."

I watched a live demo of an ejaculation-free male orgasm during a tantric massage class. The accompany shuddering and flushing made the orgasm unmistakable, yet it indeed produced no fluid. What's more, it happened while the subject was at, shall we say, no more than half mast. It was an impressive demonstration to say the least, and made me wonder if men experience "event-free" orgasms of the kind Queen describes without notice.

My friend Alex felt a great deal of anxiety about his inability to climax during intercourse, which persisted for years. Instead of just continuing to "fake it," Alex looked for other ways to express himself with a partner. This led him to discover a broader range of experiences and sensations — including, eventually, plenty of partnered orgasms. In time, he even found himself occasionally climaxing during intercourse, "but by then it no longer seemed like such a big deal."

"The experience made me a better lover," Alex says. Now in his forties, Alex is that rare guy who can hang with the girls and discuss the virtues of the Hitachi Magic Wand vs. the Rabbit without blushing. You may laugh, but name-dropping the latest model vibrator has to be one of the greatest "sensitive guy" pickup strategies ever invented.