I know what you’re thinking, because it’s what everyone says when I explain this to them: hormones. Maybe it is hormones, though it does feel a little bit like that kind of anti-feminist reductionism where all lady feelings are hysterical and hormone-driven and all dude feelings are the product of self-reflection and philosophy and heroic urges.
Anyway. My point is I’ve gradually gone from saying “when we break up” to “if we break up” to not thinking like that at all, and the realization that probably I was right the first time makes me sad. I, like everyone in the world, like to imagine that my friends are different, that we’re going to be the ones who live long, untroubled lives with their partners. I realize that this is illogical, just as my shift from life-long cynicism to stupid-yet-socially-acceptable optimism is illogical. But then how does it even make sense to apply logic to patently irrational things like human relationships?
And the standard hope for the best but expect the worst compromise cynicism doesn’t even work here. It’s pretty binary—you either think that it’s possible for people to like the same person their whole lives or you don’t.Ugh. I don’t like seeing my friends go through sad times. Relationships are complicated. Life is complicated. The end.