Why Guys Control the Remote (& Other Stereotypes)

By

Why Guys Control the Remote (& Other Stereotypes)
One man sheds light on some of the oldest male stereotypes.

On Directions
I know most guys will say this, but believe me when I say I've never been lost. It's true—I always have some rudimentary sense of where I am, even if it's not exactly where I intended to be. If I can say "I'm five or six steps away from that garbage can," or "there is a waterfall where I thought there would be a driveway," well, that sounds like navigation to me.

Asking for directions is more like admitting defeat. Who in their right mind would approach a stranger and say: "Excuse me, I should have written directions down, or at least glanced at Google Maps, but I'm a moron. You seem to be smarter/better looking than I am, can you help me out?" Given the option, I would rather drive around aimlessly, following hunches until someone else admits defeat for me.

On Sports
I may have my man card taken away (someone actually tried to do this to me once), but I admit that I don't really care about sports. Sure I'll watch them from time to time, but I don't make an effort to follow a team through a whole season or even a whole inning. I do, however, play sports. Basketball, baseball, bocce ball, or badminton--anytime, anywhere. I'm not good at any of these sports, but I like trying anyway. I also love video game sports. I'll play Madden for four hours straight without blinking or finish a whole season in NBA Jam if I'm feeling nostalgic.

The evident truth behind guys' fascination with sports is our thirst for competition. Televised sports just happen to be the most convenient conduit for this desire, but any event where someone or something wins will do: competitive eating, freestyle rapping, cockfighting, week-long games of RISK, pee wee soccer matches, it's all good. In any competition there is always a chance that a guy will have an opportunity to ridicule his opponent while giving knucks to total strangers. You've got to like those odds.