For the most part, I organized the list from the beginning of our relationship to the end, and I couldn't help noticing a clear distinction between the early memories and the later ones. They took a turn for the worse right around the year-and-a-half mark. We probably should have thrown in the towel earlier than we did, but I'm still glad we put up a fight.
Looking back on the early memories is like remembering a dream. It's all blurry images and feelings—none of it seems real. But it was. We really loved each other once. All the pain in the end, all the fighting and anger, kind of covered up the fact that at one point, we had something real together. We were happy.
Finding my first ex's list gives me hope that one day, I'll be able to look back on these memories with Alex and smile. Just like the pain of breaking up superseded our happiness, eventually I know that time will cover up the scars and I'll have nothing but a goofy smile for the whole thing.