Note: We watch pretty rarely – never the news – usually movie - maybe a few times a month. I think moderation here is key to why it works for us.
Consequences? If you haven’t heard, many studies have been done and many, many psychologists speak of the numerous problems (insomnia, obesity, lower grades) with kids having TVs in their rooms (they are outlawed for my kids’ bedrooms), but how about adults? What effect does it have on couples?
Well, one report I read found that Italians (the study was done in Italy) with a TV in the bedroom have sex at least half as many times per month (one article said 7 times down to 1.5, another said from 4 to 2…) as their no-bedroom–TV peers. Yikes!
Another study (in Osaka, Japan) said that people perceive they get less sleep if they have a TV in their room. I don’t know what that means. (I only included this because it is such a goofy thing to report)
For Feng Shui advocates like Kathryn Weber, it’s an absolute no-no: “Television is a distraction to romance and it takes away from a room’s restful qualities because when it’s turned off, the TV acts like a mirror, reflecting you and your sweetie in bed.” My husband would think this an advantage, but no: “This disrupts your chi and can even cause insomnia.” Damn! I don’t want disrupted chi. And I want to be able to sleep.
But I don’t want to give it up TV in bed! Would our sleep be more restful? Would we really have sex more often if we tossed the TV? And if so…would more sex outweigh the pleasure of in-bed TV watching?
Is that wrong to ask?
Am I a wicked wife for even framing a question this way? A thoughtless lover?
Are you shaking your head?
O.K., it does sound bad/ignorant/crazy/unsophisticated etc…but before you start wagging your finger in my general direction, please indulge me.
My arguments FOR Bedroom TV:
First of all, if I’m feeling frisky, the TV won’t go on in the first place. Second of all, if either of us starts feeling frisky mid-movie…well…a person can always rewind back to the spot where attention was diverted. Thirdly, some shows can instigate friskiness (and not necessarily just porn). Fourthly, snuggling up body to body in bed to watch TV (no one said you have to wear a lick of clothing!) feels a lot more intimate to me than separately reading books, and I hear no one rebuking bedroom reading!
Last of all, this is what I won’t give up: we start a movie, I crawl into bed (he says, “Comin’ in?”, I say “Yeah,” and he raises his arm to pull me in), I put my head on his chest, his arm wraps around me, and he starts rubbing my back. For that precious time, 1.5 to 2 hours, we won’t do anything else; just relax in bed, touch and focus on the same thing with NO DEMANDS for anything else.
Usually I fall in and out of sleep throughout the movie. Each time I wake, I’m in his arms, his hand rubbing me, close enough so I can just turn my head to kiss him and then snuggle back down to float away again. Can you see why I really love this?
Call me clueless or chi-less, but this is cherished time. The TV stays.
This concludes another view from my married life.