Portrait of an Open Marriage. Take Two.


Portrait of an Open Marriage. Take Two.
A husband and a girlfriend? An unconventional arrangement that works.

That's the extent of Christopher and Jemma's relationship. It's purely platonic. As of this writing, Christopher doesn't have any outside lovers. His choice, of course. Turns out there are plenty of couples out there in the same boat where one partner chooses to exercise his or her freedom to have outside partners and the other does not. The truth is, equity in a relationship stems from having freedom, not necessarily from acting upon it and Christopher's choice, he'll be the first to tell you, does not mean in any way that he in unhappy with mine.

And as for being immoral, a slut, or a freak, well, those are judgments and I like to remember that old saying about glass houses. Besides, I discovered there are a whole lot of people out there in open and swinging and poly and other "alternative" lifestyles. And, the ones I know anyway, have proven to be thoughtful, kind, intelligent people who are trying to figure out their way in the world just like anyone else. And if name-calling is required, which I wish we could skip all together, there are just as many immoral people and sluts and freaks in the monogamous world as there are in the polyamorous one. And monogamous relationships fail just as polyamorous ones do. How many people you have sex with or love doesn't speak to your character, just to your choices.

Sound boring? It is. Wonderfully, perfectly, normally boring. I don't regret for a second the way things were before Jemma, and I would never be so presumptuous as to suggest I know the paths my life might take in the future. But that's just it. Life is a journey. And as far as my sexuality goes, that journey has included so many things from monogamy to open marriage to polyamory and from heterosexuality to bisexuality. It's all a spectrum as far as I can tell, gender, sexuality, relationships, love. We all fit somewhere on it with very few of us at either end. It isn't always easy to choose that gray area in between. But, for me, it has always been worth it. What's the point of living an unexamined life?

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