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How to Seduce a New Mother

Hint: You'll need a feather duster.

When you become a mom, you acquire mommy friends. Sure, you may scoff now, but when you need to commiserate about sleepless nights and the endless breast milk versus formula debate, other mothers are the only ones who will listen.

My new moms group continues to meet, even though our class has since ended. We gather at the park or in coffee shops—you know, the irritating gaggle of strollers and pools of drool that stands between you and your latte? That's (unfortunately) us.

We talk about all sorts of stuff, and this week, sex came up. The consensus? If your husband wants to have it, the quickest route to the bedroom is by way of a vacuum, a duster, and possibly a mop. I know, not very romantic and probably not your strong suit, but the small gesture of cleaning or picking up a bit around the house can lift a mother’s spirits—and lighten the stress of the impending household-chore doom.

So guys, if you want to get it on, but your new-mom permanent-scowl wife just doesn’t seem up for it, clean. And make no mention of sex. Just clean. Without being asked. We guarantee you’ll be getting some by the time baby’s in bed.

Can you relate?

Discussion

BlackMagister Married HUGE PENIS
Can't Relate - Posted August 27, 2009

This whole article presupposes that men still leave the house to work, and women stay at home to be good subservient wives. Are we in the 21st century or what?

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Posted April 22, 2008

Thank you! I've been telling my husband this for years (we have three kids), and he refuses to believe me! I just sent him this link, maybe he'll get the message.

Score: 0

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