The Penns & Pete Wentz-Ashlee Simpson

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The Penns & Pete Wentz-Ashlee Simpson
We are living in constant fear of being spoofed by fake celeb news.

Sean Penn And Robin Wright PennOkay, it’s been established that Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are sticking it out. Yay, she’s so lovely. These 2 are pretty good together. He with the measured world-weariness (have you seen his forehead?) and she has that cautious optimism. There were some rumors that their split was about infidelity (namely a threesome with 2 Eastern Bloc-types interrupted by Robin). And our theory was that she was a little sick of his sanctimony, but it looks like they’re Wrighting that ship. Or is this a ruse?

The other fun rumor is that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz (this last engaged/pregnant rumor was in July 2007) have become engaged. And the secondAshlee Simpson and Pete Wentz rumor is that they are pregnant. For realsie? We thought that Joe Simpson was trying to figure out a way to get rid of the Fallout Boy. Maybe have Jessica and Tony Romo find a nice quarterback for her. But it looks like the erstwhile lip syncer had other plans. Or did she? The engagement thing is mildly believable and the pregnancy is even plausible (birth control is really hard to get in Hollywood, it appears). But something seems off here.

Typically people don’t mastermind a reconciliation rumor, but no one would have EVER expected Paris Hilton to hang out with a yogi, right? Has Ashton Kutcher teamed up with Sean Penn? This is a stretch. We’re pretty sure Penn’s humor is a little different. He seems like he might say, “You know what I find funny? The sad state of political awareness in this country. Our trust in our politicians and our media is laughable. That’s… why I make my movies.” But Ashlee is a different story. She seems like she could really have a laugh at a good prank. And we’re pretty sure that she’s been spoiling to put one over on the media since the SNL fiasco. Or maybe she’s getting another reality show. We’re onto you Kutcher, Simpson.