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Why Men Need You To Groom Them

Your guy not only likes being groomed, your opinion may improve him.

Women, take note: when the appearance of men's toenails suggest that we are either vying for a Guinness World Record—or preparing for an underground cage fighting match—feel free to mention that they've gotten a tad long. We don’t mind.

In fact, shame might be the only way for us to remember to clean ourselves up.

Hygiene is not something we consciously avoid—it's just one of the many stumbling blocks in life. In fact, we may not even be aware that we're the guy who everyone thinks smells like wet dog. But if your man is great at shaving and rinsing, you'll find an off-hand compliment from the woman in his life is often the reason.

Case in point: I have a spot on my neck that I'm sure to shave because a girl told me that she always noticed I missed that area. Mind you, that was 13 years ago: I was in the 11th grade. And so today, my neck is patch-free because of a girl I never even dated. Imagine the influence you currently wield.

It can be as easy as introducing a grooming product. Sean, an entrepreneur from Seattle, started using aftershave when his wife presented him with a bottle and suggested he try it.

"She just told me she liked how it smells. I've been using it for years now," says Sean, who never would have tried it on his own, but now applies it as liberally as an 8th grader with his first bottle of Drakkar Noir.

Men are also conditioned to listen to the women in our family. Read: Mothers and sisters should help a brother out.

For Jonathan, a literary agent in New York City, his sister explained the facts of grooming while they were growing up. He learned that brushing ones tongue and tweezing between the eyebrows are steps that signal one is ready to be seen in polite company. But it was in the area of back hair where she made the biggest impression.

"The in-between stage is horrible. Either pluck or keep your shirt on until all your hair grows in," recites Jonathan, who now prefers to pluck dutifully, rather than wait until retirement age to go swimming.

Ladies do need to be careful of how they phrase constructive criticism because beneath that dirty, hunter-gatherer exterior lies a sensitive man.

Kim, a songwriter in New York City, remembers that her college boyfriend decided to shave off his beard shortly after they started dating.

When he did, "I commented that [without it] he looked really young and a little chubbier," says Kim.

She thought it was an innocent aside; he decided not to let a razor touch his face for the duration of their 18-month relationship. And, in truth, Kim had kind of liked his clean-shaven look.

Alas, keep in mind, even if we're making an attempt to groom ourselves, most men are a work-in-progress, with approximately the same learning curve as a monkey with a can opener. Maybe slower.

Tracy, an editor in San Francisco, was shocked when she walked in on her husband rubbing Vaseline on the soles of his feet.

"You've been using this on your feet for weeks? I've been putting it on my lips!” she squealed in disgust.

Her reaction, while understandable, was not-so-positive conditioning that likely set his grooming habits back for years.

Can you relate?

Discussion

BigAl Taken
Posted February 25, 2009

Really? Seriously? You're a grown man and you don't know how to take care of yourself? This is pretty pathetic.

Score: 0

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Lolita Single It all feels good.
Posted February 24, 2009

I don't want to be any man's mother. Besides, I think it's a lot sexier when a man grooms a girl. Especially when he shampoos the hair and tugs it a bit.

Score: 1
LeMaster Married I was born ready.
Posted February 24, 2009

If you want good grooming you should date another girl (not that anything's wrong with that, i'll even watch).

Score: 0
Kataroo Single Glass half full girl.
Posted February 24, 2009

I find it so sexy to walk into the bathroom in the morning and find the man you love shaving.

Score: 0
Jadailha Single I'm a romantic failure
Posted February 18, 2009

I find this offensive, sad, and pitiful!! Yet, I must thank you for sharing this information. I always thought that men in general just were not taught how to groom, or that they were lazy. It's so simple for them, about 20 minutes a day!

The sad part is that there is a double standard. If a woman is ungroomed, she's labeled for life, and romantically/sexually shunned by all. Yet, we accept it if men are nasty. Unfortunately, women still date, sex, marry, reproduce, and claim men that are foul. They don't do the same for us.

Score: 0
nubiancoco Single
Posted February 17, 2009

iI LOVE CLEANING MY MAN. IF I DIDN'T HE WOULD LOOK AND SMELL LIKE A CAVE MAN.

Score: 0
Chacha Taken
Posted October 24, 2008

Why do people think his grooming is a reflection on you?Thats sexist.

Score: 0
Lolita Single It all feels good.
Posted October 25, 2008

ha! He's better dressed than me anyway.

Score: 0
jessicahabit Taken
Posted October 24, 2008

And after you clean them up a little all sorts of other girls start getting interested. No thanks, pluck your own eyebrows.

Score: 0
LeMaster Married I was born ready.
Posted October 21, 2008

There is nothing wrong with women taking care of their men. I fill my wife's car every week because she hates gas stations.

Score: 0
Kataroo Single Glass half full girl.
Posted October 21, 2008

My last boyfriend made me buy him his socks. That's why we're no longer together...well that and him being a douche.

Score: 0
Mango Married
Posted October 21, 2008

I am constantly helping my husband, buying him his aftershave and clothes. If I wasn't there for him, who knows what could happen :)

Score: 0
greenolive Engaged
Posted September 29, 2008

My boyf always needs to be reminded to clip his toenails. how gross is that?!?

Score: 0
bdaddy1 Married
Posted July 30, 2008

Really enjoyed this article.

Score: 0

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