Rumor: Spitzer Hooker & Charlie Sheen

By Tom Miller posted Mar 17th 2008 10:28PM

It looks like 'Kristen' may have been a Sheen cheerleader.

Cheerleader Prostitutes FoxNews.com is reporting that a pimp sent the Spitzer prostitute (Ashley Dupre) to Charlie Sheen in a cheerleader costume. The ho-master said it was a package deal involving a threesome and $20,000. We’re not terribly familiar with the diamond system but we would have thought that you could get two chicks for much less than $20,000. Maybe it has something to do with synergy. We’re guessing that this story is not 100% fact. First of all, the news media is still in ‘pile on’ mode. Secondly, FoxNews is bringing us a story tangentially involving a Democratic politician, a liberal Hollywood star, and whores. There may be a tendency to streeeeetch here. And finally, they’re basically going on the word of some pimp.

The details are pretty hilarious irrespective of their veracity. They involve the cheerleaders encouraging Charlie’s, uh, performance with chants and cheers. “Be aggressive. B E aggressive. B E A G G R E S S I V E!” This really demands a Saturday Night Live sketch. They had Pimp Chat. They could do Ho Talk. Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph would have different names each time (because hookers change their names) and talk about which stars and politicians were best/ worst/ silliest; “Oh, Tom Sizemore wuz nasty. He fell asleep inside me. When he woke up, he accused me of shavin' off his eyebrows. He’s mean, he’ll coldcock ya.”