My Boyfriend Cheated On Me With Hookers


My Boyfriend Cheated On Me With Hookers
One woman grapples with finding out she was betrayed when he paid for sex.

With the passage of time, I see things a little differently. I don't detest him but instead feel sorry for him. And what hurts me the most, even now, is that he couldn't find a way to tell me that something was wrong, that things were out of control. I was so in love with him—to be honest, a little part of me still is— that I would have found a way to deal with it. Not accept or embrace it, but confront it, puzzle it out. I understand being out of control, being self-destructive. My methods are different (binging, shopping, moping), but I think the feelings are the same. Instead, I found out in such a horrific way that it rattles my sense of self and trust to this day.

While it's easy to ask why, say, a political wife like Silda Wall Spitzer would stand by her husband, now former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, after reports of his link to a prostitution ring were revealed, I can almost understand it. I can't compare my brief relationship to their two-decade marriage, but I can see how it takes a while to process this sort of betrayal, how you don't want to believe your man could go there.

It's not a black and white situation, to be sure. As much as I'd like to hate my ex, I don't. Nor do I forgive him. I just wish I understood him a little better. I guess I'll have to save that for my next relationship.