Why Do Men Buy Sex?


Why Do Men Buy Sex?
The guys who buy it aren't who you think. Nor are their reasons for doing so.

Married relationships can't provide this special "time out" stuff. Marriages are centered around finance, around children. This is a time out where it's purely about men having sexual satisfaction outside the bounds of a normal relationship. Men use their financial privilege to buy an intimate experience they can't get in their conventional relationship.

Also, this relationship is protected by the exchange. The men don't feel as though there's going to be some other emotional component, because the contract is very clear. This level of intimacy is an exchange, and the women who do this emotional labor make a lot of money. That's why you see this high end.


But typically these men don't want to leave their wives. They want to be a provider and a father and a breadwinner. Buying this extension of their private lives is not an either/or. They want to have community status. But that’s separate, a whole different idea from having a private life.

Yes, but it seems to be a deal with the devil, in that you can't have both. That's the question everyone's asking: Why would a guy like Eliot Spitzer take this risk?

Why do powerful men like Spitzer take the risk of buying sex services? It's no different than Joe Blow down the street in his life than it is for someone who's rich and powerful. The risks aren't any different… the risk of the personal stigma, the job loss. Sure, Joe Blow may hold a different position in the community, but his emotional and sexual needs don't work any differently.

The ultimate example is Bill Clinton. Why would the president of America say, okay, I'll just have this extramarital affair with this woman, and then think of the consequences later? He didn't sit there and think about these things. It was about him and his private sexual life. It had nothing to do with him being in a powerful position of authority. It all works on the same level.

But, arguably, women are the ones who have a greater chance of not being sexually satisfied in a relationship. Why don't we see them seeking out prostitution?

We live in a society where it's entirely acceptable that men seek out sexual gratification. It's okay for men to sow their wild seeds. You have very strong gender stereotypes. Women who do are seen to be sluts or slags or promiscuous.

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