Oxfam is auctioning off celebrity dates like it's no one's business.
You may know Colin Firth from films like Love Actually, Bridget Jones, and if you’re a huge fan, The Last Legion. And you will know that he is outstandingly English. Like Hugh Grant English. Like way more English than that Ralph Fiennes. And from all accounts his genteel onscreen persona is pretty close to how this guy rolls in real life. So, as part of his deal is that he’s an Oxfam spokesman. You may know Oxfam as an organization that fights poverty and social injustice. So, its heart is in the right place.
But like most charities, they’ll do anything for a buck. Including whoring out a spokesman. They auctioned off a meet and greet with Colin Firth and 2 tix to his newest film, Mamma Mia. And American woman won with a bid of $9,300. When reached about her prize she was very excited about it… until told that sex was not guaranteed and that the celebrity is Colin Firth not Colin Farrell. Note: We made that last part up.
In other whoring-for-a-good cause news, Oxfam is selling a date with Scarlett Johansson on eBay. We’re not sure what the tally is now, but we’re betting that she can take down Firth’s $9,300. We’re guessing that her fan will probably raid his 401(k) to make this a reality… because they were destined to be together. And after she sees the real him under the hair and the stuttering that she’ll fall in love with him and they’ll laugh that all it took was his entire life’s savings to let them meet and see each other not with their eyes but their hearts.
Do celebrities that just want some pocket change ever just auction themselves off? Has a day with a celebrity auction ever ended in them dating? Or do they all end like Larry David’s celeb day auction on Curb? The purchaser looks like a jerk and the celebrity is totally unimpressive in real life.