Last month, I wrote an article about taking a Sex Detox. It’s a program in a new book by sex therapist Ian Kerner that suggests that in order to make your sex life hotter, you should refrain from gettin’ horizontal for 30 days.
Fred and I tried the program, and while it was really difficult to keep our hands off each other (and the longest we actually went was 12 days), it really did work! Sex was fresh and spicy and fun.
Yesterday, Dr. Kerner was promoting his new book on the Today Show, so Fred and I went on to discuss how it worked for us. Now, being on national TV is a nerve-racking experience. Being on there talking about your sex life (Hi mom!) is even worse.
But the scariest part for me was the reaction off-stage of nearly every married person we talked to on the set. In the green room, all the other guests on the show chatted about why they were there; what their segment was about, etc. When Fred and I said it was to talk about not having sex for 30 days, the older women laughed. “Wait until you’re married! Thirty days is nothing.”
Even Al Roker said the same thing to us right before cameras started rolling. That horrified look I had in my eyes? It wasn’t the realization that millions of people and my grandmother were watching. It was the terrible thought that immediately after we say our vows, Fred and I are going to turn into an old, boring couple that never has sex.
I realize that love and marriage are about more than sex. And that there are so many other wonderful things to look forward to when you commit your life to someone else. But really—can’t good, frequent nookie be a part of that? Why does that have to go away?
In bed last night I told Fred that we should have secret wedding vows in addition to our public ones, where we promise each other that we will have sex at least twice a week. He agreed, and as if to seal the deal… we rolled over and went to sleep.