Break Up Etiquette: Dividing Your Friends
The relationship may be over, but what to do with pals you still share?
• Accept the outcome. Not all "couple friends" are going to want to continue the friendship. And that's okay. Accept the few losses and focus on the mutual friends that understand you.
• Thank your peeps. Friends are supposed to be there for you through thick and thin, hot dates and heartache, but still, everyone likes a bit of recognition. Let them know that you appreciate their support and that you'll be there to get their backs when the time comes.
When the dust settles, remember that you called it quits because something wasn't right. But your friends will be there till the end.
Discussion
ok listen my ex broke up with me and my bestest freind asked her out on the same day she broke up with me and he didnt even tell me im pissed and i wanna know how to split there as$es up please help add me on yahoo messenger behemoth_rocks_9998
If there is a breakup between people I know, I hide. I am so sick and tired of the blubbering, especially from women. The crying is kinda like this, "Oh I knew he was a jerk but I married him because I knew I could fix him". Got news for you. If you marry a jerk, he or she probably will remain a jerk. You don't "fix" someone.
I think most people in retrospect regret trying to "win" friends to their side after a break-up, especially if they're doing so with false or exaggerated information.
Bottom line is that breaking up is a heart-wrenching experience, and anything that increases the negativity can't really be helping.
Yeah, I know people that would rather just move away than deal with it. Across town at the least.
i wonder how many times friends switch "allegiances"? ie they start being his friend and then go with her after the break up?
seems that a good thing that real friends can do (before the break up) is help wtih the mediation, to play devils advocate and be an unbiased, loving voice of reason and sanity. rather than just agreeing with the negativity comfing from one of the partners and trying to be empathatic, instead pushing back to help them see it from their partner's side. it is easier and more comfortable to empathize and support your friend, but that can be short term balm vs really helping for the long run.
I think that there is a natural division where friendships are concerned. Friends are there for support in difficult times and if someone is truly a good friend to both parties of the break-up then they will find a way to balance those relationships regardless of how uncomfortable the situation may be at times.
