Census data shows that there are lots of single men. Is the tide shifting?
In a 90’s rave music classic, Alice DJ asked, “So you think you’re better off alone?” Good question. Did you know that 33% of men in their 30’s have never been married (compared to 29% of women)? And that some of these men are intentionally single. And that some of these men aren’t swinging playboys and/ or don’t have serious personality flaws. Conventional wisdom makes this hard to believe, right?
But what are the consequences? There is a stigma attached to being unattached. Alec Baldwin’s quote in The Departed pretty much sums things up, “Marriage is an important part of getting ahead: lets people know you're not a homo; married guy seems more stable; people see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch; ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work.” So that’s the conventional wisdom on being married for career purposes.
There appears to be the beginning of a shift in perception. It’s cool to be a dad now (again?). Matthew McConaughey has a kid on the way and if he doesn’t epitomize cool dude, who does? In Neal Pollack’s Alternadad, he makes the case that you can still be hip and a good parent. Sure Gawker and David Brooks from the NY Times rag on him, but he seems to know what he’s talking about. So, in summary, there are some single men who are intentionally single, some single men who revel in the bachelor life-style, some single men seeking, and some cool dudes that are ready to settle down.