"Frigid" Jones Diary?
I came across an absolutely befuddling story in London's Daily Mail today. "Sorry, but marriage and sex DON'T go together" is a profile of Carrie Jones, author of the forthcoming memoir Cutting Up Playgirl: A Cheerful Memoir of Sexual Disappointment. Jones is a self-described middle class mother of two who professes not to have had sex with her husband, Hal—"a good man and a great dad"—for the past four years. Moreover, she's pledged to remain celibate until her children are grown—at which point she plans to leave the marriage. Making sense of this wasn't a cinch. At first we were inclined to narrow our eyes and name Jones the villain: No sex? In four years!? While married to a stand-up guy? Sorry, sister, but we're just not with you. Then we read further and learned: Before they were married, Mr. and Mrs. Jones got it on an average of 5 times a week. Okay, we reasoned, maybe the passion had gone flaccid. Sigh. Yet, read to the end, and Jones drops the biggest bombshell in this whole weird tale: In her life, this now-sexless temptress boasts 23 lovers—that in itself is not of note, but what is, is that of the 23, she claims only one—ONE—ever caused her to orgasm. And, nope, twasn't hubby. Which means three things:
1) We're not sure how her memoir could be all that cheerful, really. 2) We give Jones free rein to search far and wide (and fast) for her own Mr. Darcy. 3) We've cancelled all future plans to visit the British Isles.
But, lest you buy into this publicity stunt, we firmly believe marriage and sex and orgasms go better together than chocolate, peanut butter and pedicures. Still worried? Advice to ensure you don't go the way of the Joneses: Want A Sexy Marriage? Advice You'd Never Expect.
Discussion
Questions, questions, and more questions. Maybe its because I'm a guy that I'm instantly jumping to the husbands side, and maybe this is mentioned in the book, but did Carrie ever try to rekindle the passionate side of Hal? Does she know herself well enough sexually to bring herself to orgasm, and, if she did, did she ever try to teach Hal?
I guess I've known enough women who for some reason assume that a man should already know what he is doing without the need to tell him what she wants. I know stupid male ego and pride can get in the way of making a man a better lover for you (we don't ask for directions, so its a logical step that it applies in the bedroom as well). Still, without reading the book, it just looks like Carrie is whinging on something that she never really made clear to him.
Not all women orgasm equally. Some seem to take no effort, others require an industrial strength, five speed sex toy with gyrating parts and hours of tongue, hand, and body numbing attention. I guess I just wonder how much effort was put in by both of them to keep the sex and passion alive before it fizzled out.
Either way, I'll be damned before I'm stuck in a marriage like that.
It usually takes me weeks to finish a book, getting distracted by this and that, but i could not put this book down, and read it in three days. i can't stress enough how much i can relate to it. a friend of mine read the first page and said it sounded as though i had written it. The last chapter reads, to me, as a plea from the author for someone to justify her thoughts and feelings. A few weeks ago i said that youth is for doing the things that you will later regret not having done. After reading this book, forget about restricting it to youth...all i have to say is that you only get one life.
