So Jamie-Lynn, we hope you learn at least this lesson from your big sister: Babies are cute and all, but any fashion expert will tell you they don't suit drunks, drug addicts or bad drivers. So here are some tips on showing off your baby to best effect:
- Wear underwear…every day.
- Read the directions on the car seat. Put your child in it when driving.
- Most grocery stores sell milk as well as soda. Buy some.
- Leave the haircuts to professionals.
- Don't pimp your kids out to the highest-bidding tabloid (your momma did it to you, and we've seen how well that turned out).
And lastly, after the baby is born, invest in some birth control. A baby at sixteen is an honest mistake. Four kids by the time you're twenty…not a good look.