That was magical.
From The London Free Press
By Jennifer Graham
REGINA -- There won't be any "hee-hee-hooooing" when Becky Ell gives birth to her first child, and she's aiming for the whole experience to be free of pain and drugs.
Ell and her husband, John, plan to have their baby using HypnoBirthing -- a method which focuses on relaxation and is not "hocus pocus," experts say.
"It just takes you through the steps to gently close your eyes and then let the muscles relax," said Ell, whose baby is due next month.
There’s a saying in boxing “everyone has a plan until they get hit.” We’re pretty sure that a lot of women who plan on going without medication are in the same plan. Then, when a tiny person starts trying to fight her way out of your womb, it’s all about the epidural. Maybe we’ve grown too soft. People were having kids for at least hundreds of years, often without narcotics. And the article says that HypnoBirthing was pioneered in the early 90’s. Wasn’t that a simpler time? Didn’t a lot more make sense? Can’t you just see a dude wearing a brightly colored sweater and think ‘sensitive 90’s guy, alright!’? We can see people talking themselves into using breath control for pain, cuz “screw it these kids needs to be born without that smack runnin’ through their veins, bro.” The whole gist of this methodology is that clinching muscles hurt us and that we just need to sit back and relax. Maybe that’s the real reason the drugs work, they’re not numbing the pain as much as getting women to chill-out. People have only been doing this whole thing wrong since forever; glad someone took the time to figure this out. It looks like Eve has been exonerated. God gave women birth pains as punishment for her sneaking that forbidden apple off the tree of knowledge. Next up, let’s see if we can get an appeal for Cain or get some water wings for Noah’s kids.