Maybe I should just go to an English Clinic.
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At least one woman was misled into thinking she was not pregnant after receiving a test from a faulty batch, it has been revealed.
The revelation by the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) means tens of thousands of women may have to retake a pregnancy test.
There are fears that some of the tests, which have been in circulation since March, may also have been used in GP surgeries and clinics.
Patients at around 50 hospitals across the UK are affected by the warning over Clearview HCG tests, made by Inverness Medical Innovations. One batch - LOT HG0050 - was found to be faulty, with investigations indicating 44 tests were affected.
Not fun. For some reason we keep picturing Alfred E. Newman (of Mad Magazine fame) with his shoulders hunched, palms up and saying “what, me worry?”
Here’s a bit of sample dialogue from one of these clinics:
Technician: Well madam, we have the tests back and you are not pregnant. Congratulations or sorry, come see us again.
Obviously Pregnant Woman: I really must respectfully disagree. Please observe exhibit A, my belly.
T: Sorry, but the test is never wrong.
OPW: I hate to be a bother, but I seem to have a tiny baby growing inside of me.
T: Oh, right. I guess I see what you mean. That’s a sticky wicket, isn’t it? I think I hear the phone ringing, see ya.
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We hope that most of these unexpected babies were pleasant surprises.