Study: The Secret Of Marital Bliss Is Coping With Misery

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From The Age
By Amy Iggulden

THE key to a happy marriage and family life is accepting that misery and suffering are unavoidable, American researchers say.

Therapists claim that "mindful acceptance" of family rows, door-slamming teenagers and painful relationships is better than believing in perfection.

But they fear that childhood fairytales, love stories and modern counselling techniques are promoting an unhealthy belief that true domestic bliss can be achieved. "Our culture perpetuates the myth that, with enough effort, we can achieve a state without suffering," says a new report in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

"This is highlighted by our popular childhood fairytales and modern love stories.

"In the US, the value placed on the 'can-do' spirit and triumph over adversity creates an environment where suffering can be viewed as a symptom of personal failure."

Tango’s Take

A wise man once said, “It’s easy to grin when your ship comes in and you’ve got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile is the man who can smile when his shorts are too tight in the seat.” That man was Judge Smails from Caddy Shack. It appears that the key to relationship survival is lowered expectations. Wait, that can’t be the lesson. We’re all beautiful people and we deserve the best. On the other hand, only Dr. Pangloss thinks life is all ice cream and puppy dogs all the time. Maybe the lesson is there are no easy answers and everyone is just doing their best to muddle their way through this crazy world.

In other news, poor Paris Hilton reported to jail today. There’s probably a lesson there, somewhere.

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