British Soldiers Give Online Dating Tips

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From The Sun
By ONLINE REPORTER

 

PERFORMED with military precision and nothing left to chance, this could be any undercover operation by our highly trained armed forces.

But no, this is actually Operation Red Rose – a new guide to help men deliver the perfect date.

Officers and gentlemen, bemused by the alien world of chocolates, flowers and emotions can now turn to the British Army’s most elite infantry, the Irish Guards, for help.

“If chaps approached the battle of the sexes as a military operation it would be more second-nature,” said Rhoda Breakell, head of romance at Friends Reunited who has organised the guide.

“Listening to the unique way soldiers talk and approach things, I realised there was an untapped way of communicating with male online daters.”

Tango’s Take

Roger Whiskey-Charlie, I’ve got the target in my sights. Before we get into the hilarity of elite soldiers giving dating advice, let’s think about what they have going for them: 1) Rules of engagement: they have to get specific signs that it’s okay to proceed with ‘action’. 2) Hygiene: unless they’re on a battlefield soldiers are expected to keep clean, shaven and generally groomed. 3) Timeliness: Everything in the army is done on a schedule. Tardiness is rewarded with chores and physical punishment. If he says that he’ll be there at 20 hundred hours, you better believe that he will be there a 7:59 PM. (Side Note: they use a 24-hour clock to avoid the whole AM/PM issue.) 4) Discipline. Sure, all soldiers live for R&R but they are diligent about taking orders and seeing a task to completion. If that fence is to be painted by sundown on Sunday, you best bet the football game won’t be on until the fence is painted. This all seems reasonable, right? But we can probably come up with a metaphor for any occupation—i.e. accountants do it without losing their balance.

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