In some of my free time, I sing in a band. I’ve been singing all of my life; in a host of different bands for about 10 years. One group (Dame Station) recorded a CD of original tunes back in 2000: although we hired musicians to fill in the sound, the core writing group was three women, including me. I say all of this to let you know that I have a deep understanding of what goes into the crafting of a song. When I happen upon brilliant lyrics, I bow to those who write them, and thank them for their genius.
Two women who never fail me in the lyric, well, really in every song writing department are the Indigo Girls. They inspire me. The force of their words has changed the way I think. Anyway, all of this is to bring me around to sharing with you some of the lyrics to the tune “Power of Two”: they speak to long term relationships beautifully.
This is the chorus: So we're okay, we're fine, baby I'm here to stop your crying. Chase all the ghosts from your head. I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed, smarter than the tricks played on your heart. We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart: adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two.
I love that. I mean, when it’s working, when you’re hummin’ along in a relationship, that’s totally what it feels like: multiplying life by the power of two. It’s not that you become one, no, no, you become more than two (life squared). Could these song lyrics hold some key? If we work together, can this power-of-two really rid us of our demons?
Rewind. Read the lyrics again: who doesn’t want to hear this from their lover? I’m here for you. I’ll fight your battles with you. With you I am stronger. Together we can win. Together we have the power to make life better.
I love looking at our demons this way. So often our partner’s monsters are a source of conflict and annoyance. We end up fighting with the person instead of the monster. We’ve all been there and know that this doesn’t work because we’re avoiding the heart of the beast. It’s even counterproductive as these fights usually fuel the brute. So how about joining forces to beat up the beast (rather than each other)?
It is tricky business, because in order to begin the battle, the issue(s) at hand need to be acknowledged: “We’ll look at them together then we’ll take them apart.” Both parties must be willing to bare themselves. Tough stuff, sometimes: makes you vulnerable. However, this is the point. With the power of two, you can afford to be vulnerable because you have the strength and help of your partner to protect you.
It does make sense, really. So often we hang on to our shit because we are afraid that if we show it, we will lose love, or if we give it up we lower our defenses. Well, if you know that your partner is there with you and for you through it all, maybe you can put it out there.
Last verse: Now we're talking about a difficult thing and your eyes are getting wet, but I took us for better and I took us for worse and don't you ever forget it. The steel bars between me and a promise suddenly bend with ease and the closer I'm bound in love to you the closer I am to free.
“Listen to this, honey!” (rewind) “Isn’t that great?” Steve and I listen together, rewind and listen again. How do they do that: encapsulate so much with so little?
The closer I am to free. Says it all. You and your partner have the power to look at your demons, to banish them, and to be FREE of them. It’s the transformative power of love. Let it work in your life.
It sure inspires me: love, songs, blogs and all.
This concludes another view from my married life.