The Great Name Debate

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The Great Name Debate
The pros and cons of taking his name or keeping your own.

It's time to play the Name Game. We don't mean that old song from the 60s with the Frankie Frankie Bo Bankie Banana nana something or other routine. We mean the eternal question that faces every bride-to-be: So....are ya changing your name?

Yuck. I hate this question, and so should every woman out there. Oh, I know I could go on and on about how lucky we are as women to have a choice about the matter these days, but to be honest, I wish we could just go by our first names and be done with it. I have come to the conclusion that there is no good choice out there. You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. Man, I never learned that in any Women's Studies classes back in college. Sigh. Watch a video about men who take their wives' last names.

 

Anyway, here are your options, with the pros and cons to go along with them.

Taking His Name

Pros:

*Your mother-in-law will love it, providing, of course, she loves you.

*Your husband-to-be will love it. Even your vegetarian, incense burning, 'No, honey, I'll do the dishes' husband will love it, shocking himself with a bit of traditional masculinity he didn't know he had inside him.

*It's easier because 90 percent of the people out there will assume you will take his name, and they'll call you by it anyway, no matter what. And when you have kids, it will be way easier.

*The googly-eyed, moony, sixth grade girl in you that used to write, "Mrs. Rob Lowe" all over her binder will secretly love it. Is It OK To Be Called "Mrs. (Husband's Name)?"

*If you're lucky, you may end up with a name that makes you sound like a British romance novelist or a movie star. Even better if it replaces some weird last name you had that nobody could spell or pronounce.

Cons:

*You will spend approximately one week in the Social Security office, one week at the DMV, and one week filling out all the other paperwork to make your new name all legal-like. Prepare for death by boredom.

*I don't care how nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the oven you are...in the end, if you take his name, a small little part of you goes away for good.

*You will feel embarrassed to tell certain people about it, including certain female friends who will feel they have the right to dress you down for being such a traitor to your gender.

*Your mother-in-law will hate it, depending on how much she hates you. This may be a pro, depending on how you feel about your mother-in-law.

*You may end up with a terrible name that no one can pronounce or spell.

Keeping Your Name

Pros:

*You don't have to change your credit cards, bank accounts, checks, ID cards, frequent flier mile cards, voter registration cards, Social Security card, car loan, student loan, etc. etc. etc.

*You feel like you are representin' for the ladies.

*It will secretly piss off your mother-in-law, whether she hates your OR loves you.