It Still Has That New Phone Smell

By

I got a new cell phone this week. That doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is. I've had the same old crappy phone since like 2002--the plastic casing was cracked, it didn't really hold a charge any more, and it was so big it might as well have been attached to a suitcase like the phone in The Big Lebowski.

I don't know why I put off getting a new one for so long. I mean, I do: I knew I needed a new plan and it was pretty overwhelming figuring out what to get. So many choices. Also, I hate talking on the phone. I actually kind of have a reputation among my friends for never picking up the phone. This drives them crazy. I feel like if someone has something important to say, they can leave a message and I'll call them back. It's annoying, I know. But especially with my crappy old phone, I could never hear what anyone was saying and so I'd spend the whole time just being like "What? You what?"

 

I love text messaging, though. It's so easy and it makes people get right to the point. Instead of fifteen minutes of awkward chitchat, you just get "Wanna hang out Saturday?" I bought a text message bundle with my new plan.

When I went in the store to sign up the first time, the lady I talked to wouldn't let me get the plan I wanted. I'd researched on the internet what the cheapest possible plan was, and that's what I wanted. But she wouldn't sell it to me! "That plan isn't recommended," she said. She wasn't sure why not, but disagreed with me that it was because the next plan up was more expensive. She refused to believe a human being could live on 200 anytime minutes a month. I guess I'm a freak.

I ended up just leaving and going to another store, which turned out to be good because they were having some kind of special promotion. I was going to buy the cheapest phone they offered, but the razr was free if you got a two-year contract, so that's what I did. It has a camera and everything.

I've never paid much attention to what kind of phones people have, but I guess lots of folks have that phone, which is good because I can't figure out how to set the ring tone. On Saturday I went to Target with Frank and he was supposed to call me when he got up to the front of the check out line. I was walking around upstairs and I kept hearing this weird song. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from--I thought maybe it was like the Target theme song or something, and they were playing it on a loop on the loudspeakers (I'm on allergy medicine. Cut me some slack.) Anyway, obviously, it was my phone ringing over and over. It was so loud! And so multiphonic! Now I'm one of those people who can have a song as a ring tone!

I never realized until I replaced it how much a part of my self-image that junky phone was. Now I have no excuse not to pick up when someone is calling. I'm either going to have to come out and admit that I don't like to talk on the phone or answer it. Yikes. On the upside, I can have a picture of a cat as the background to my phone. I'm not sure that's a good deal, but it's too late to go back now.