Women have high expectations for nearly every area of their lives, but when it comes to sex, they settle for less.
And most women keep their dissatisfaction with sex a secret, leaving their partners (let alone their doctors) in the dark, said Anita Clayton, a psychiatrist who focuses on women’s sexuality at the University of Virginia Health System.
“Whereas men, if they have trouble with sex, it’s a crisis. They run to the doctor and say ‘I need something for this.’ Women don’t do that. They just sort of stuff it down and push it further down on the list,” Clayton said.
With surveys and years of clinical experience, Clayton has compiled a vast collection of data on women’s sex lives. Often, she said, a female patient would visit her with issues like marital problems or depression, and only when directly asked about sex, the patient would divulge dissatisfaction.
Most women prefer mediocre sex? Right out of the starting gates, let it be noted, we take issue with the title (and to think, ‘Pravda’ is Russian for truth, hmmf). The point of this study, though, is fairly important. A large number of women seem to view sex as something perfunctory or rote. What could be behind this trend? 1: Our culture tends to value overt sexuality (Britney doused with water from a fire hose, say) over slow-build sensuality. 2: The hook-up mayhem. Detaching sex from emotion (newsflash!) may make legitimate enjoyment more difficult. 3: Expectations and the Big O. Thankfully, there is now a fully-grown generation of men who’ve been raised to value the female orgasm. The Big O may be the end-all, be-all for these men. The corollary? Women may feel any criticism is going to be damaging or humiliating to their bedmate. We say, speak up! If he’s aiming to please you, using your tongue (to communicate) is the surest way to make certain this is the last study of its kind.