From The San Mateo County Times
By Francine Brevetti
FOR ANNA LAVERIA MAY, it took three years to finalize her divorce from husband Francis N. Luke because she feared the adversarial court system.
"All I ever heard about divorce was horror stories and people hating each other," May said. "I was a child of divorced parents, and (their divorce) was ugly."
But May and Luke wanted to conduct a divorce amiably and cheaply. The couple finally found a way to dissolve their 14 1/2-year marriage without the courts and without lawyers. It saved them stress and lots of money and kept their friendship intact. In fact, they still share a home in Hayward even after their divorce.
The underfunded court jurisdictions require longer waits, and therefore soaring attorney fees; and unhappy spouses must suffer through a frequently torturous adversarial system, experts say.
We mentioned this trend a few weeks ago. see the Dish from February 28, 2007. Amicable divorce is the second best outcome possible. The best, of course, is amicable reconciliation. But sometimes it just doesn’t make any sense to beat a dead horse; you know it’s over, he knows it’s over, it’s time to face facts. Now you can get back to replaying over and over again what went wrong and telling your friends that he cries after sex (it’s called cry-maxing).