CMT (Country Music Television) is coming out with a new show dedicated to Redneck weddings. My Big Redneck Wedding will be hosted by Tom Arnold and will start an eight-episode season on the 11th of January. The show will highlight the goofier parts of redneck culture. We envision spittoons by the altar, camouflage tuxedos, shotgunning beers, and a Molly Hatchett cover band (or Molly Hatchett, we’re not sure if they’re still alive).
This show is a great idea. We get tons of redneck-themed wedding emails. And it sort of plays off of that movie where the Greeks were the butt of all the jokes and the guy from Northern Exposure (fine, Sex And The City) married Nia Vardalos. But couldn’t they have at least called it My Big Ol’ Redneck Wedding? “Uh, yeah. I reckon me and the future missus ain’t doin’ nothin’ that weekend, we could make it up to Bufford for a free weddin’. No sir, we are not of relation. And we ain't cousins neither.”
How in the world did they come up with Tom Arnold for this though? Was Larry The Cable Guy too busy gitin’ ‘er done? Is Jeff Foxworthy firing his agent as we speak? Is the whole Blue Collar Comedy Tour going to boycott CMT? Did Ron White just have a stroke?