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The New Hook-Up Hotspot? Work!

Office romance is becoming more prevalent. Is it another reason to love your job?

Just be prepared: Sparks may fly—even if you're not looking to kindle them. "It's common sense when you put men and women on the road together," says Lever. "You think the office has gotten informal? That’s nothing compared to a dinner meeting at a hotel over wine." Especially when you can expense the Rioja.

You're Primed to Love Your Coworker (Or Boss)

When it comes to finding a mate, studies show that from socioeconomic background to education level, we're drawn to people like us. In that sense, work is like a homogeneous dating pool, full of candidates prescreened by HR. Beth was 22 when she took her first job. "I fell hard for my boss, Evan," she says. What hooked her? Little habits she came to know—and, eventually, love: "The movements of his long fingers over the keyboard. The way he threw his coat over the chair after lunch." Eight years later, "We work together again, only now I can't imagine what inflamed that passion," she laughs.

It could have been proximity—or power—at play. Your boss seems sexier because of his or her position of power, a result of paternal/maternal transference, explains psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz. And it's a common phenomenon: One in five people in Vault's survey said that they'd dated somebody they reported to, yet 60 percent of workers disapprove of the idea. The downside of dating up? "Real career gains will not be credited to your ability," Saltz warns.

Readers, what are your thoughts about and experiences with office romance?

Can you relate?

Discussion

RuthHouston Married
Posted October 6, 2009

David Letterman broke at least 2 of the rules of engagement for workplace romances by having sex with female members of his staff. Yet other rules Letterman strictly observed.

To find out which rules Letterman broke, and which rules he followed, see the article entitled David Letterman Broke 2 Cardinal Rules Governing Workplace Romance at http://bit.ly/yhTMo You’ll find the complete list of the Rules of Engagement for Office Affairs and Workplace Romance. If you’re involved in a workplace romance, and want to keep things on a professional level, follow the guidelines in this list. You can also find these rules on my Infidelity News and Views blog.

For more comments on David Letterman’s sexual escapades from an infidelity expert’s point of view, see the article entitled Why David Letterman Should Realize That Infidelity is No Joke at http://bit.ly/peK64

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Sara Brady Single
Can Relate - Posted October 5, 2009

Well, where else are you going to meet someone? We spend a third of the day asleep and a third of the day at work. That doesn't leave much time to commute, eat, work out, and then go to a bar and try to flirt. Dating someone you meet at work is just more convenient. They've been pre-screened by HR, as it were.

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sarah Complicated Expanding amounts of love.
Posted October 5, 2009

Yeah, totally makes sense to meet someone at work. And it's fine, as long as there's not a big power dynamic involved. Where it gets sketchy is when you're dating your boss, or someone powerful is dating an intern. But otherwise... I say go for it.

Score: 1
Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted October 5, 2009

One of my best friends met her husband at work and they've been going strong for 7 years. I also technically my my husband at work (we were in High School and worked at Sears).

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