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I Went from Muslim to Jewish For Love

A Muslim woman gave up her past to provide her family with a future.

As Told To Marisa Belger

It was during my second month of medical school—as I was cutting anatomy class—that I met Ron. We bonded over our mutual dislike of the subject, and I felt like we had an instant connection.

In the course of that first conversation we also wound up discussing our backgrounds: Ron, I learned, was Israeli-Jewish; I was Iranian-Muslim.

The relationship grew serious quickly. Ron proposed a year and a half in, and we planned a Jewish-Persian wedding, where we drank wine, did readings in Hebrew, and let my relatives grind sugar over us to add sweetness to the marriage, according to Iranian/Persian tradition.

Then, six months after we married, we began discussing the idea of conversion. Ron and I had both been raised in secular homes, and he felt connected to Judaism on a cultural, rather than religious, level.

I, on the other hand, have never really felt tied to Islam. I believe in gay marriage—and I believe that a woman can do anything a man can do. I don’t think there’s a lot of room in Islam for liberal, or even moderate, viewpoints.

With Judaism, I felt like there was still a way for me to be progressive. Though Ron told me early on that he didn’t need me to change religions, I decided I wanted to convert—for love, and for the family we would raise.

Ron and I were going to medical school in New Orleans, so we spoke to a rabbi about the process and began attending services at a Reform temple. At first, I found the commitment tedious. I was in my third (and roughest) year of school, and I had so much work to do. Now I also had to attend conversion classes each evening, and services Friday and Saturday—plus, I was pregnant!

Initially, there were times when I didn’t know if I could handle everything. But as I adjusted to my hectic schedule, my conversion classes became a retreat, in a way, from the day-to-day demands of school and life. They were grounding. And interesting. By the time I was eight months pregnant, I felt ready to convert.

But Hurricane Katrina intervened. We had to relocate to Houston. And my conversion ceremony, which would have taken place in front of our congregation, wound up being quite private: just me, Ron, two very good Jewish friends, the rabbi and the cantor from New Orleans. I felt very connected to each person in the room. I had traveled so far in this journey already: medical school, marriage, pregnancy, the hurricane—and these people had all come to another city, another state, to witness my conversion.

First, came the mikvah—the ritual bath. I disrobed immersed myself in the water, and prayed. It was very serene—just me and my friend Natalie in the room together. Then I tried to get out, only I was so pregnant she had to help me! (And of course we’d forgotten a towel, so Ron ran off to Target.) After my bath, the rabbi blessed me, and it was such a momentous moment: I felt so relieved to finally be able to call myself a Jew.

Can you relate?

Discussion

JackiePatel Single
Posted December 10, 2009

Marriage of Conveneince, Not Conversion

Conversion in Judaisim is not allowed.
Judaism is very exclusive. Islam is not.
The Iranian young lady does not know about Islam or Judaisim.
She is more interested in marriage than converting to any doctrine.
I have studied Hinduism, Judaism and Islam to know that this young lady is a little off and should dig deeper to identify herself and fill the real void(s) in her life.

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Posted January 8, 2008

I find your reasons for conversion interesting, as my Judaism studies have shown me even more inequality between the sexes than Islam.

Score: 0
Posted November 29, 2007

I happen to agree very much to Roni that you lived a true charming story, I also feel that you there is always that very beautiful part of your Neshamah which is very deep in you & in the entire past it always tried to come out of you in the open until the great day has actually come, regarding the reform issue which Roni has mentioned in his comment I understand where he is comming from but I also see from where u r comming , I truly believe that this is something which should be discussed more in detail & personal, If you would like to discuss it with me [I do have quiet a bit of past experience in this particular area which I would not like to reveal over here] you can feel free to email me & maybe I will be the one who will have the merit to enhance such a beautiful Neshamah:)

Score: 0
Posted November 18, 2007

Charming story. :)

You probably heard this... But just in case, you should know that only reform Jews would accept your children as Jewish. This may not matter to you, but who knows what your children will want with their lives. I recommend converting via orthodoxy just to cover your bases. The orthodox rabbis won't make it easy for you, but hey. Being Jewish isn't easy. In any case, you'll be surprised how progressive orthodox Judaism really is when you give it a chance and keep an open mind yourself.

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