According to an American tradition (and thanks to a well-funded De Beers marketing campaign), a groom-to-be should spend a total equal to two months of his salary on a diamond engagement ring. A website designed to help roadmap a groom’s trip down the aisle has posted a diamond engagement ring calculator to help sum up the recommended price.
The site says, “Courtesy of GroomGroove.com, [grooms] can enter their salary information and with a click of a button, figure out how much De Beers wishes they would spend on their bride’s diamond engagement ring!”
For example, if someone earns $24,000 per annum, according to the diamond engagement ring calculator, he should spend $4K on the ring. If he earns $100,000, he should spend $16,666, and if his salary is on par with that of Bill Gates or Donald Trump and he earns $1 billion, her ring should be worth $166.6 million dollars or the projected revenue of the recent film Shrek the Third.
Wait. A website has a calculator that divides by 6? And this results in a press release? Doesn’t every person’s computer come with a calculator or Excel? Also, does this calculator work on a pre-tax or post-tax basis? Does it include deductions from healthcare? What about the interest portion of a mortgage? What if some portion of the dude’s salary is derived from stock options, bonuses, or a parental allowance? We wrote a hilarious joke the other day about abstinence-only sex education, should we get our PR team on this?