YourTango is your community for love, sex, dating, and relationship advice. Community | Feedback
User login
  1. I forgot my password!
Logging you in, please wait...
Login Sign Up

I've Got a (Girl) Crush On You

Girl Crush: Intense, platonic feelings of admiration for or excitement about another woman.

 

We argued about it time and again. Eventually, I reassured him that he was enough. My one, my only, and now—my ex. But science supports my intuition. Researchers concluded long ago that individuals with a strong support network of friends live longer and recover from illness quicker than those who go it alone. Recently, the implications of these findings became even more interesting.

Last fall, psychologists at the University of Utah and the University of Chicago published studies indicating that the emotional energy exchanged in our closest interpersonal relationships directly impacts our cardiovascular and neuroendocrine activity. In other words, a reassuring conversation can lower blood pressure, whereas a heated confrontation can raise it. That's right: stressful relationships are actually bad for your health. Conversely, positive friendships are good for it. Factor in what social psychologists refer to as the "matching hypothesis" (the tendency to pursue relationships with individuals you perceive to be equally attractive as yourself) and you might conclude that snaring a new friend can validate, or even boost, selfesteem. Ergo, girl crushes are good for you.

And that is why, when my best friend was working abroad, she modeled three outfits for her roommates before deciding which one to wear to greet me at the train station. (They thought she was insane.) And that is why I can't stop thinking about the woman I met at that party. She's not only charming and thoughtful and stylish and talented, but she has a puggle (I really want one), owns her apartment (ditto), and knows a nice guy who would be just right for me (hooray). Would it be too forward to invite her to dinner?

Can you relate?

Discussion

Posted April 18, 2009

Thank you so much for this article. I thought I was crazy feeling the way I do about my teacher...eh. Thanks for making me feel better.

Score: 0

You need to be logged in to do that!

Login or sign up now - it's fun, easy, and free. We'll keep your seat warm for you!
kristinegasbarre www.kristinegasbarre.com
Posted April 16, 2009

I think I've got a girl crush on Marnie Hanel.

Score: 0
Posted December 27, 2007

ahhh i am so glad people understand this. i too, have experienced similar infatuations, ones that having absolutely nothing to do with sexual desire or attraction. i just want to be friends with them! hahaha

Score: 0
Posted November 30, 1999

ahhh this is reassuring... i've had a HUGE crush on a teacher for 2 years now, and it's been terribly confusing. I am so in love and can barely walk straight when i see her, and yet i have no sexual desire for her. she is very smart, poised and beautiful, and now it all makes sense!

Score: 0
Posted November 30, 1999

Wow!makes me feel normal.Am 27 and have had enough of these crushes not knowing who to share with for the fear of being branded gay.thnks tango you made my day and i feel very normal and happy with myself.

Score: 0

Join the Discussion!

Login or sign up now - it's fun, easy, and free. We'll keep your seat warm for you!

Custom Newsletter 2

Recommended for You

Login or Sign Up for a personalized YouTango experience.
See all or Ask your own question!