Are You Financially Compatible?

"I tried hard to ask the questions I thought I needed to ask before we got married—about kids and money—and I felt I had good insight into who he was," she says. "I still don't know where his savings went. I've looked through his bank statements; I can't see hookers or drugs or gambling. Maybe he paid cash. I just don't know."

Both Kimball and Khalfani believe that compulsive spending has the potential to kill a relationship—unless the person in question is willing to change and you're both ready to work on the issues as a couple.

"Dishonesty is a deal breaker," says Kimball. But, she adds, a little conversation can go a long way. "I've seen couples who confessed that the husband gambled away half their retirement savings. But they went to counseling and got through it," she says. "You can handle anything if you communicate."