Then, too, we both had demanding jobs— Ollie, right from the first; me, after the kids got a bit bigger. Suddenly, it seemed we didn’t even have time for a five-minute conversation, let alone for a luxurious evening of foreplay and everything that follows. He was tired, I was tired, and every time we got to where we maybe could have found a little energy, it seemed like one of the kids needed help with his homework or a Band-Aid for her skinned knee or maybe a quiet talk about her dating life. For both Ollie and me, learning how to slow down long enough to make time for each other — the kind of intimate time that includes talking, sharing, and cuddling as well as fantastic sex — has been a lifelong challenge. You can keep alive the magic in the midst of the madness, but it definitely takes work. (You’ll read more about my suggestions for building relationships in Chapter 1 and 2.)
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from my forty-five-year marriage is that soul mates are made, not born. Sure, Ollie and I fell in love early on — and maybe, you, too, have a guy who set your heart beating faster from the moment you laid eyes on him. But I know lots of happy couples who grew into intimacy with one another, who found their sexual heat as they got to know each other in more gradual ways. And by the time you’ve reached your first-year anniversary, take it from me: It doesn’t matter how you started. You’ve still got to work to keep the magic alive, to stay present to each other, to share your hopes and dreams and daily concerns so that you remain friends and companions in the best sense of those words.
Sex and passion are a big part of that sharing and intimacy, and I feel proud to be part of a company that enhances those experiences for women and their partners. But Passion Parties isn’t just about techniques and products — it’s also about relationships, communication, and freeing your Passion Diva. In fact, it’s what your Passion Diva knows that forms the foundation of the company’s philosophy — principles that are the basis of everything you’ll read in this book:
Every Passion Diva Knows That:
- Sex is good for you.
- Soul mates are made, not born.
- Even if you’re a “good girl,” you get to have great sex
- If you take responsibility for your pleasure, your pleasure will pay you back.
- Being sexy is in how you feel, not how you look.
- You need all five senses to make sex great.
- For sex at night, foreplay starts in the morning.
- Your most important sex organ is your brain.
- Your most important sex toy is your tongue (and we’re talking about talking!).
- If you want great sex, bring the right woman to the bedroom.
Welcome to the beginning of your next passionate journey! But before we continue, I’d like to share with you one more favorite story, this one from Mindy, a part-time Passion Consultant who’s also an emergency-room nurse in Washington state.
I decided to give my husband a romantic weekend getaway for his birthday, so I bought tickets to Hawaii and got a hotel right on the beach. I didn’t plan for us to spend much time outside, however, and packed the “Passion Parties Lover’s Coupon Booklet,” the “52 Weeks of Romance” game, some Dirty Dice, and my Body Finger Paints, along with a couple of toys and my favorite lingerie. Now, I knew I shouldn’t put these things in my carry-on luggage because I had heard that the X-ray machine would pick them up, and I wasn’t exactly crazy about the idea of the security personnel viewing our intimate secrets. So being the savvy person that I am, I packed all our sexy treats in my checked luggage. Turns out I wasn’t really all that savvy, however, because believe it or not, I had never heard about random inspections. When we got to the hotel, I opened my bag. Right on top was a typewritten note that said: This bag has gone through Random Inspection.
Was I mortified! I started to blush beet red — until I saw the handwritten note underneath. There, in tiny blue letters, someone had written, Let the games begin.
I think that says it all, don’t you? So come on, ladies! Let the games begin!
Intrigued? Want more? Check out The Passion Parties Guide to Great Sex!