You may be best friends with your Passion Diva already — or you may not even have realized that she was there. Either way, she is what Passion Parties are all about. By the time you’re through with this book, you and your Passion Diva will be on the best of terms — and you’ll both know a whole lot more things you can do to fire up the passion between you and your partner.
Meanwhile, though let’s get back to me and Ollie. Like many young couples, we began our marriage by learning about each other sexually. Neither one of us had gotten all that much help in knowing what to expect, but we always loved each other, liked each other, and respected each other, and that went a long way towards helping us figure out the sexual part of things. Right from the beginning, I looked forward to waking up with Ollie each morning. I felt that I belonged with him— that when I was with him, I was home. I still love to go to sleep besides him and to wake up to his touch. But as with any marriage, between that first date and our forty-fifth anniversary last September came a whole set of unexpected challenges.
For one thing, we had children. Now I love my children dearly, and I wouldn’t trade a minute of that time they lived in my home—but as any mother knows, kids are not exactly an aphrodisiac. Figuring out how to keep the passion going, how to find the energy for sex and intimacy in the midst of midnight feedings and dirty diapers and soothing a sick child, could be pretty daunting at times. (If you want to know more about my secrets for keeping the intimacy alive after the kids come along, check out Chapter 5 on RomantaTherapy and learn how to become your own Romanta Therapist.) but I’m here to tell you from my own experience: You can keep the romance alive if you know what to do and stay committed to doing it.