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Happily, things have changed a whole lot since then. We’ve evolved, and I’m happy to say that I’ve evolved, too. As a woman who started dating in the fifties and then lived through the sixties, seventies, and beyond, I’ve seen women facing a whole range of expectations and choices. As the times changed, I changed with them, which has put me in a terrific position to understand the many different hopes, fears, and dreams that women of all ages and backgrounds bring to our parties.

These days, of course, women work both inside and outside the home. And we don’t just share in the financial responsibilities of our households. We expect to share in the sexual pleasure, too. After all, fair is fair, whether we’re talking about the bank account or the bedroom. Like our husbands, we bring home the bucks — and, like them, we want to enjoy all the pleasures sex has to offer.

So if we’re being fair, we can no longer expect the man to take full responsibility for our sexual experience. It’s up to us to know what makes us happy, what turns us on (and off), what sounds like an adventure we might want to try or a fantasy we might like to explore. It’s up to us to initiate sex once in awhile, to make it clear that we are not passive maidens submitting to our partners, but active and vital women with our own sexual needs and desires.

When I figured this out, I came up with a notion that has served Passion Parties well — the concept of the Passion Diva. As I see it, every woman has one, that lusty, sexy, sparkling creature who lives inside us and is just waiting to be let out. Your Passion Diva knows all about the kind of sex that will make your toes curl and your breath come more quickly. She knows what will get you tingling with anticipation and what will leave you glowing with pleasure. She’s the expert on which parts of your body like to be caressed and kissed, when you like it sweet and gentle, and when you’re looking for fiery and intense. Plus, she knows all sorts of things that will turn your man on and leave him panting with desire — and more than happy to satisfy you.

You may be best friends with your Passion Diva already — or you may not even have realized that she was there. Either way, she is what Passion Parties are all about. By the time you’re through with this book, you and your Passion Diva will be on the best of terms — and you’ll both know a whole lot more things you can do to fire up the passion between you and your partner.

Meanwhile, though let’s get back to me and Ollie. Like many young couples, we began our marriage by learning about each other sexually. Neither one of us had gotten all that much help in knowing what to expect, but we always loved each other, liked each other, and respected each other, and that went a long way towards helping us figure out the sexual part of things. Right from the beginning, I looked forward to waking up with Ollie each morning. I felt that I belonged with him— that when I was with him, I was home. I still love to go to sleep besides him and to wake up to his touch. But as with any marriage, between that first date and our forty-fifth anniversary last September came a whole set of unexpected challenges.