Can You Orgasm From Intercourse Alone?
Most women can orgasm from masturbation, but not everyone comes during sex. YourTango investigates.
Firmly entrenched on the other side of the fence is Paige, 36. "It's my biggest goal in life to orgasm during sex without manual manipulation," she says. "I always feel like I'm getting close, and then I just can't peak." (To get her there, her boyfriend usually stages a manual intervention.) While she has no critiques regarding their technique, Riccardi suggests Paige try to enjoy the process rather than focus on the end goal. "Sometimes when you have goal-oriented sex, you miss out on the pleasure," she says.
A common phenomenon, actually. Only Lauren, 32, started fretting about her orgasms after the fact. "I was never able to get off without manual reinforcement-until I started sleeping with a guy I called 'four-minute man,'" she laughs. "When he was on top, I would have an orgasm in four minutes flat." Lauren got busy trying to figure out why: "He wasn't someone I was in love with or even totally attracted to," she says. Her surprising discovery? "I finally determined it was because he had a bit of a Buddha belly. The extra pressure was assisting me in the orgasm!"
There's one reason to embrace his beer gut. But there are other ways to reach the hallowed O, whether your partner is thick or thin: "We often forget that stimulating the pubic bone, thighs, and belly can really add up to the ability to orgasm," says Riccardi. Which may explain the lucky position that Katrina, 25, has come to rely on. She gets on top, "putting my legs straight behind me so they are lying on top of his," she says. "The angle works every time."
It might, concedes Riccardi. "There's not one secret position that offers the greatest orgasmic possibility for everyone. We often discover which position works for us and stick with it." Which brings us full circle: The secret to satisfying sex? Not being afraid to talk about-or experiment with-what works best for you.
Colleen Oakley is a writer in Atlanta. Polling her friends for this piece taught her the true meaning of "too much information."
*Some names have been changed.
Discussion
I can rarely climax without clitoral stimulation,I had to even learn this with difficulty.I at one point had a vaginal orgasm and then one day with a guy I didnt love or think was all that we were on the couch making love .I don't even know what caused it but suddenly I felt this feeling well up inside me and It was simialr to when I orgasm when I masturbate,I tought to myself omg I think Im coming,I even said it out loud so he wouldn't stop or change rhythm,boom I climaxed.It wasn't the most intense in itself but was so different I actually wept tears of joy and release .I havent had too many since.I think it has to be in a certain position,enough stimulation and I have to close my eyes and focus deeply,even go into an intense fantasy,really concetrating on what I feel,i can't even make noise ,I have to just sort of tensemy whole body up and force it out so to speak.It sucks in a way it's easier to climax using my finger to please myself,but it seems that men don't like it when a woman masturbates during intercourse.So I have to pleas myself later on when Im alone most times.
What is a man to do with severe ED when there is no cure? Has to be inventive and flexible. Your hands can do things that will surprise one. You can reach many spots at once! The main thing is not to give up. If one can not get an erection, they sometimes, just do not try, anymore. Thus, your partner is also suffering due to your problem. So you owe her to try to do something, cuddling, kissing and using one's hands, etc becomes very important. Ladies like to enjoy those ineffable tingles when you get working on the right spot.
Yes yes yes there are two different types of orgasms and they feel different.
However ladies this is not always a good thing. I had always joked that anyone cold make me come. Well I found out that there are men that can not satisfy me.
My recent lover had very serious erectile dysfunction and was not overly endowed. He was however a skilled man in the oral department. Although I had "clit cums" as I call them I never had a vaginal orgasm with him and it made me crazy.
Many of my girlfriends said they would be happy to have a man skilled with oral alone. Being that was one of the main ways they could orgasm. For me it was painful there were more than a few times I cried over the situation. It was torture NOT to have vaginal orgasms. So you ladies that fret over not having vaginal orgasms don't they can be a burden.
. why u need oral sex? clitoris may be stimulated by penetration.u know G-spot [ by the name of german gynacologist, Ernst Gräfenberg ] receives the stimulation from friction of penis and vaginal wall inside the interoitus. so, just leave oral sex. those who does oral got worse oral hygiene and more chance of oral fungal diseases. so, do cariase and have penetration, rather than oral.
My husband and I have a fantastic sex life.
The secret? We just do whatever the other person wants, what we ourselves want, and we aren't afraid to ask each other for it or get insulted if one of us or the other isn't immediately turned on. Just stop worrying about it, and how it works and be honest with your partner. Stop analyzing.
Sorry, (acutally I'm not sorry) but some of this information is wrong, wrong, wrong. I am so tired of reading that there is only one type of orgasm- one involving the clitoris- because I know for a fact that there is indeed a vaginal orgasm. I have orgasms during intercourse that are very different from those I have when I'm receiving oral sex or when I'm stimulating my clitoris. And yes, they are more intense. Apparently the researchers who have studied this have not had enough subjects who are in the 20% of women who have orgasms during intercourse. I regularly have orgasms in which there is nothing anywhere near my clitoris.
I've got a position that stimulates both. It helps if the woman is very aroused,,,, meaning wet and engorged. Start out in the missionary position fairly deep. Girls, bring your legs together, guys, let her legs pass under yours and put your knees outside of hers. Plus it helps to hook your feet around her ankles. Most girls get a spasm that opens their legs when it feels really good, lol. This positioning forms a tunnel between the thighs and the labia putting more pressure and friction more of the labia as well as the clitoris. Girls, experiment with how tight you close youre legs, guys, try different angles, just move up or down her body a bit, it can make a big difference. I've had 2 ladies hyperventilate from this orgasm, 1 even passed out for a minute or so. Enjoy!
Good Luck and Great Sex,
T
Vaginal orgasms exist and they are different from clitoral orgasms. There is a growing consensus among sex researchers that these are two separate types of orgasm. It's actually more like two in five women who can have vaginal orgasms. I wrote a book, The Orgasmic Diet, that helps women have vaginal orgasms.
Ogasim is all about letting go and going inside your mind girls... I am the no hands queen. stop matubating on your own... save the energy for your man, sex is all about fantacy weather with your husband, lover or other...being too awear of yourself, enviroment or is the TV on? turn it off!! the moment your trying too hard will only take it out of the way... if you cant come duing sex, hold on to the faith that you can, set it up in your mind, your ideal situation it may be your in public, oral sex by someone you dont now, your being watched, being raped... we all have freaky sexy thoughts that we dont want to own up to, they belong to us it OK. you need to be stimulated by enlarging your G-spot, this will happen by: press on you softness just above you pelvic bone... it presses you internaly, put a pillow under your hips and butt during intercourse, try having your lover not penitrate you fully each time with your legs crossed at the ankles ... Girls its all about angle, pressure and being relaxed... if your mind is buzzing and your physicly worn out forget... just f**k... or just lye there... dont do anything this may just get you started... dont feel guilty for not being the whore in the bed... this is all about you.
Good luck.
I'm dismayed that its still about "can you have an orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation?" Of course an orgasm via direct clitoral stimulation or indirect (the internal "legs" of the clitoris are getting stimulated via "vaginal" orgasms . just because it feels different, more intense, doesn't mean the clitoris isn't involved.) This post also doesn't touch on how many women get direct clitoral stimulation orgasms with the partner doing all the work. Where the woman doesn't have to supplement his lovemaking skills. It seemed all about some kind of pecking order -- women who can orgasm without hand/oral help are somehow superior.
Come on, lets be woman friendly here. All orgasms are fantastic. The key is a generous, patient, willing partner who gets turned on finding your pleasure buttons. A man who doesn't think his organ is the be-all-end-all of pleasure. Even worse, a woman who neglects her own sexual pleasure by subscribing to that view.
