The results are in. And what great news it is: Seniors are having sex. I am not snickering, I’m breathing a sigh of relief. In case you haven’t read the news or heard the comedians pick fun (they’re having a field day with this which is funny in and of itself because most of them are inches away from being part of this demographic), here’s a bit of the results:
1--Sex with a partner in the previous year was reported by 73 percent of people ages 57 to 64; 53 percent of those ages 64 to 75, and 26 percent of people 75 to 85. Of those who were active, most said they did it two to three times a month or more.
2--More than half of those aged 57 to 75 said they gave or received oral sex, as did about a third of 75- to 85-year-olds.
It’s truly inspiring. Personally, I would terribly mourn giving up the big O. It’s great to know it may survive a few more decades. We just need to keep Steve alive. (But by the time they were 75 to 85, only 37 percent of women had spouses compared to 71 percent of men.)
Note: Interesting to see how our need for intimacy and passion outlives by such a margin our biological imperative to procreate. In my mind, this could be the most profound evidence behind the theory that there is a designer guiding evolution.
Anyway, an anecdotal part of this survey caught my attention: “If you are doing it, you keep doing it. If you slack off in marriage like when you’re in your 40s, it’s hard to pick it up when you are older,” he said. Not surprising, I guess, but kind of scary to see it in black and white.
So, couples, if you’re not doing it, NOW is the time to do something about it. Before it’s too darn late, and you find that you’ve given sex up for good WITHOUT MEANING TO. Use it or lose it, folks. Even if you have to work at it.
Find or create ways to have sex. Often. Role-play, try sex toys (the “rabbit” is highly recommended, and I have it on good authority that it really really works, ladies), dress up, MAKE OUT, find ways to prolong foreplay for the whole day, go to a sex therapist, rent erotica, try bondage. Whatever you can do to get the juices flowing, literally, just do it.
Find or create time to have sex. Often. Put off the next house project so you have more time for intimacy, be ok with getting less sleep one night a week – or – take a nap right after work so you have the energy at bed time, send the kids off for the week-end, exchange work-out time at the gym for a work out in bed. Just find the time.
Aside: This doesn’t mean you need to have intercourse every time you engage your partner intimately (as point two of the survey shows us – take a tip from our elders!). A heavy petting session one night can be very exciting and can lead to sexual anticipation for the whole next day!
How exciting to see that we may have more good sex years ahead of us than behind, so to speak. What incentive!
This concludes another view from my married life.