The other thing about the wedding that is stressing me out is that I have to choose a reading. Adam is very big on his groomsmen figuring stuff out for themselves, I guess, because not only do I have to choose the reading and read it in front of everyone, I’m not allowed to tell him what it is in advance. It has to be a surprise.
How do you find something that is meaningful but not saccharine, on topic but not cliché, something that I think is nice but doesn’t seem grandstand-y, cool enough for the kids but not too full of swears for the grownups, funny but not too breezy, Adam-ish but not un-Apryl (his bride-to-be)-ish, etc. I’ve been searching for this stupid reading since I found out that I had to do it almost a year ago. I finally decided on a poem after much hand-wringing (generally I hate poetry, so would it be selling out to wedding schlock to read one?) but I’m a little worried that it’s too racy. There are some sexy bits in it. Ugh. I don’t know.
It never occurred to me how much pressure there is in being in a wedding before. I thought you just bought the teal ball gown, showed up, and held some flowers while you stood still for weird, composed photographs. But that is so not it, at least not for this wedding. I know I’m probably getting all worked up over nothing, but that’s kind of my way. I don’t want to be the one to screw up someone else’s Big Day and ruin their childhood dreams forever.
It’s weird, I love Adam and Apryl and want to help them have a good wedding, but by worrying about the whole thing so much am I turning it into being about me? That’s what they say you aren’t supposed to do, is detract from the people getting married on their wedding day. Where’s the line between going the extra mile to make your part in someone’s nuptials good and turning what is, at heart, an extremely peripheral job into an unnecessarily big deal? I have no idea. Maybe I’m just more nervous because this is the first wedding I’ve been in, which means that it’s the first person I’m really really close to to get married.
Regardless of my weirdness, I think the wedding is going to be a great party. I just hope this stupid dress fits.