LOS ANGELES - Britney Spears' continuing downward spiral took a devastating turn Monday when she was ordered to relinquish physical custody of her children by a judge who had cited her drug-and-alcohol-fueled lifestyle.
Superior Court Judge Scott M. Gordon ruled that ex-husband Kevin Federline will take custody of Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, beginning Wednesday "until further order of the court."
Poor Britney. Her lawyer said that she is losing custody for not having a driver’s license and not complying with court-mandated drug and alcohol testing. Rumor has it that she didn’t even sign the judge’s testing order. Not so good. We wonder what else is going to happen to her. Are the good people at SoundScan going to tell her that they miscounted and her albums didn’t go platinum? Are her parents going to tell her that she was adopted? Is that online doofus going to say that he could care less if people left her alone? We’re hoping for her to bottle her pain, write a crazy chick-rock album that would make Avril Lavigne, Carrie Underwood and Lily Allen cry and prove ‘em wrong. We’re pretty sure that you’re allowed to keep doing goofy things as long as you’re moving records and selling out concert halls. Underpants help too.