Pump & Dump: The Craigs List Gold Digger
This was a viral email that recently got Tango’s attention. In case it did not make it to your in box, we thought you’d want to see it. Better yet, we hope you’ll share your thoughts. Is “Spectacularly Beautiful” gutsy to voice this unvarnished desire ... or totally full of it?
By Craigs List User PostingID: 432279810
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-*******
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
Discussion
Why does she think a man with money will be shallow enough to fall for an obvious gold digger like this? Doesn't she know they're smarter than that? Unless they are pathetic old men trying to recapture their youth. And that's just gross.
I spent most of my life contemplating metaphysics, not the almighty dollar. I passed up men with money because they weren't "right" for me. I had to leave my hometown of NYC because I couldn't afford to live there. Ironically, when I left NY I fell in love with a guy who unbeknownst to me was due to inherit millions. I didn't find out until 2 years into the relationship. All that time I thought he only made $70,000 a year on a good year. I think he wanted to be sure I loved him for him. Well of course, I'm not a gold digger anyway. But the point is that I wasn't even looking for a guy with money but found one nonetheless. And it wasn't because I had anything going for me other than my soul and my character, which were the things that appealed to him most. I am not unattractive but I am no model.
The point is, men with money need love too, not just someone who will use them and look pretty on their arm for a few years before they get what they want and move on to greener pastures. If you want that kind of guy you will get what you deserve - Someone you don't love who doesn't love you, and probably isn't capable of loving any woman. And you know what? The money won't be any consolation for being with a jerk who doesn't love you.
I look at my boyfriend's money as a blessing and a curse. With money comes responsibility. There are always people in the wings trying to get their hands on it. My boyfriend is a sweet guy who isn't affected by wealth at all. It's one of the reasons I love him so much. I would gladly forsake all the money if it caused us distress. When one matures one finds happiness in non-material things. This girl is going to learn this the hard way and either become embittered and depressed or learn to value the really important things in life. I sincerely hope for her sake that it will be the latter.
I agree with Mikey. Men are looking for partners, not you. A relationship has to grow, usually from nothing. Like the great oak tree that started from a small acorn.
maybe you can go to millionaire & celeb dating site WealthyRomance.com where you can find the one you desire.
What is so strange about Wealthy Guys and Millionaires wanting to be with Beautiful Girls and Vice Versa? I mean come on, look at every single Billionaire and Millionaire out there ... how many of them have a beautiful trophy wife? Donald Trump has one, and Hugh Hefner certainly has a FEW!!!
She says she sees plane jane women with extremely wealthy men living boring lives??? Yea they probably married him BEFORE he made his money, helped put him through school, lived on PB&J while he worked long hours. He loves her and she him more than you ever would and he knows it. See any guy making $500k a year can buy and sell girls like you. He might keep you around for 6 months or a year till something hotter and thinner comes along. Meanwhile MRS. Upper east side is sipping tea at the country club and driving the new Benz, SHE took him on with nothing and will be there till the end wealthy or poor... Like the writer said,, If the money dried up, would you stick around?
What a hoot! Great response. In a perfect world, this discussion would end with us looking smugly at the cleverness of this; unfortunately, it's pretty clear this woman will get what she wants. A man in the midst an affair with a beautiful woman who sexes him up will frequently not think about the long-term implications as the gentleman above. Thanks for the very entertaining response regardless!
At first I thought...is she for real????
But then you have to figure... all of her life, up to this point anyway, she's probably had a father who did nothing but instill in her the idea that she DESERVES this kind of man and nothing less. More than likely, it's been driven into her since she was a baby that she is so wonderful and beautiful or whatever that she's due this sort of lifestyle, and now absolutely nothing or no one else could possibly fill that role in her eyes.
I would also dare say that she was given anything and everything she ever asked for while growing up, and just can't understand why that's not happening to her now. Her parents didn't realize the actual disservice they were doing her. Now she has such unreal expectations of and for herself that she's doomed to never fulfill... unless, of course, she has a major reality check or gets some serious (ie., psychiatric) help and soon. Otherwise, she'll be finding herself perched upon that sky-high self-imposed pedestal for a very long and lonely time.
