By Diana Appleyard
Breastfeeding someone else's baby has been unthinkable for mothers for over a century. Incredibly, despite the health risks, it's making a comeback in modern Britain.
When Sarah Hastings walked into her sitting room and saw her childminder breastfeeding Sarah's baby daughter, she was, not surprisingly, utterly astonished.
Many women might well be horrified at such an intrusion on the sacred bond between mother and child.
Sarah, the 42-year-old director of a communications business from Notting Hill in West London, was speechless.
"I was just stunned because I had not thought about this at all. We'd never discussed it," she recalls.
Just when we thought that the rich couldn’t get any more pampered. Sure, some women have an aversion to having their nipples bitten (so we hear) and some probably have some protein deficiency that limits their lactating, but we’re guessing most wet nurse employers are probably just really not into the full-time mom bit. There are a few other old time-y jobs that we would like to see back in action:
- Town Crier: In this day of 24-hour news cycles the job may seem a little outdated. But we’re also in the age of instant celebrity. Strip this guy down to his underoos and he could be waaay more compelling than that Times Square retard, the Naked Cowboy.
- Bootblack: We’re not 100% what a bootblack is. We think it’s essentially a shoe-shiner, but vaguely remember some SNL sketch with Tom Hanks (when he was funny) about a randy bootblack.
- Village Idiot: Sure there are lots of idiots out there. You can barely turn around without bumping into one. From some of dinguses on the cable news channels to those poor girls on Sunset Tan, there are a few to choose from. But every city needs one person whose job is to lose to chickens in tic-tac-toe, get outsmarted by children and generally make everyone feel a little better about themselves. It would be tough for them to make a living, but we could all chip in.
- Whipping Boy: We love misbehaving celebrities, that much is a given. Although, their lack of punishment is getting off-putting. Is it really fair for Nicole Richie to spend less than an hour and a half behind bars? Or for Paris or Lindsay to get light sentences? But do we really want to see them behind bars? That would limit our entertainment and is that fair? They should be able to hire people to take their punishment. This person could be a member of their entourage. Or it could be decided by rock/ paper/ scissors, whatever. This job shouldn’t tie into Village Idiot; those goofy bastards suffer enough.
- Food Tester: Sure not many people are assassinated via poisoned food these days (with the exception of that poor KGB defector in London). And most poisons are probably pretty slow acting. But still, we’d get a little piece of mind if someone made sure our food was safe. It’s a little like our moms checking under our bed for monsters.