This divorce is being taken to the next level. We haven’t seen this many subpoenas since Ken Starr took on Slick Willy, babe. (That was us channeling Dennis Miller). Team K-Fed is passing out subpoenas like candy. Some of the highlights include serving Britney’s assistant at a late night party, serving her rehab center, attempting to serve Britney’s pal Sam Lufti (resulting in car collisions) and serving former Britney manager Larry Rudolph. Rupolph said that he wanted to stay out of the fray and dodged getting papers. They caught up to him at Sunset Tan. We sympathize; you need to have a nice tan living in LA. Now Team Federline is asking that Britney pay for his legal expenses. And they decided to publicize how much she makes per month ($737,868) to accomplish that. Diabolical. We would think that he would hilariously serve people by out-dancing them and informing then that ‘you’ve been served, sucka.’ And then moon walking out of sight.
It’s not over for Team Britney. They’ve not even begun a counter-offensive. Either theyplan on capitulating or are working up a massive battle plan. In related news, Britney just releakedsed two new singles on the interweb, ‘Gimme More’ and ‘Cold As Fire.’ We’re pretty sure that the best possible revenge would be to create a “Cry Me A River”-esque smackdown. “You were a backup dancer and livin’ with Shar. I gave you your shine, made you a superstar. You got nothiiiiiin now, that’s where you are. Don’t cross me, chump. Because I’m better off without you-ou-ou.”