From The Times
By Charles Bremner and Sebastien Duval
The global sexual wellbeing survey
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The French, who have always treated seduction as art, were startled yesterday to learn that they have the world’s second most dreary sex lives – after the Japanese.
In a 26-country survey which shows that even the British are happier in bed, only 25 per cent of French men and women report that they are sexually satisfied. Forty percent of Britons profess satisfaction, still well behind the champions, Nigerians (67 per cent) and Mexicans (63 per cent).
To make things worse, the French are among the most energetic performers, making love 120 times a year, compared with 92 for the British and 164 for the Greeks, who top the 26-nation league.
Sexologists and other experts yesterday tried to explain the situation, which emerged from a survey of 26,000 people by the British firm Harris Interactive. “The French have rested on their laurels,” said Sylvain Mimoun, the Director of Andrology at the Cochin Hospital, Paris. “They know that the French are famous as lovers and forget to maintain what they have by thinking of the other person and achieving harmony rather than just performance.
“It’s like a mountaineer who has reached the summit of Everest and then takes a rest in a chaise longue. If he stays there too long he loses the ability to climb.”
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We are glad that someone has the time, patience and bankroll to put together a survey like this. And how perfectly French is it to be put-out (buh-dum-pah) about sex? “It was, how you say, tolerable.” Is it possible that they are just having too much sex. Is that even possible? “Listen, baby, I would rather have a croissant, a glass of wine and enjoy the football match on zee television.” We’re glad that Nigeria is high on the list of satisfactory sex, we’re a little surprised they’re not doing it more often though. Not a lot on TV there at night.