First Date Dos and Don'ts
The top 3 unusual (but awesome) first-date ideas
3. Going to a roller disco one night. The guy and I had already established an easygoing rapport by phone, so both of us were more willing than usual to make complete fools of ourselves on roller skates. It was a great first date, and got two thumbs-up from Dave: "Lively, spontaneous, unpredictable."
Dave’s three first-date no-nos:
Movies: There’s no opportunity to talk.
Black-tie events: The formality makes people stiff.
Places you’ll run into a lot of friends: It’s too much, too soon.
Dave is one smart cookie, and I’m glad he’s on my panel. Of course, that doesn’t mean I always like what he has to say. When we discussed my present sitch (roller-disco guy and I have been going out), Dave was appalled at my reluctance to heed chapter seven of Behind Every Great Woman, "Keeping Your Romantic Pipeline Full of Men"—which he also calls "having a herd."
"But it takes so much energy," I whined. Dave nodded sagely. "And I’m happy with my current let’s-not-talk-about-the-future-and-have-as-much-fun-as-possible scenario," I argued. "Mmmm-hmmm,” he said. I knew by his tone I was in trouble. "It’s a noble thing to be a one-man woman," Dave went on, "but when you’re dating, there are benefits to a herd. In your case, you don’t want to sleep with more than one guy at a time, and you don’t have to. But having a herd would offer your current ‘situation’ (dare I use the dreaded R word?) context and comparison."
Context and comparison? Well, it’s kind of hard for a reasonable woman to argue with that—even when she’s really got a one-man heart.
Discussion
think she should have talked to more than one person. I absolutely avoid movies for the first couple of dates. I prefer to meet for a drink first. You can always bail after the drink (and avoid paying for dinner for someone you'll never see again) If things go well, you can move onto dinner. if things go really well, you'll eventually be watching PLENTY of movies together anyway.
think she should have talked to more than one person. I absolutely avoid movies for the first couple of dates. I prefer to meet for a drink first. You can always bail after the drink (and avoid paying for dinner for someone you'll never see again) If things go well, you can move onto dinner. if things go really well, you'll eventually be watching PLENTY of movies together anyway.
Dinner, happy hour, or drinks and appetizers is really the best 1st date IMO. Unless you don't drink, dinner works well, and doesn't have to be fancy, but stick with food you BOTH like. Personally, I get nervous and jittery while drinking coffee, and that really doesn't help me out! Know your liquors though....a glass of wine or 2 might ease the tension and set a nice mood. However, vodka gives me a load of energy, and I'm not sure if I want my date to see that much of my wild side on the 1st night!!! 26/F
Dinner, happy hour, or drinks and appetizers is really the best 1st date IMO. Unless you don't drink, dinner works well, and doesn't have to be fancy, but stick with food you BOTH like. Personally, I get nervous and jittery while drinking coffee, and that really doesn't help me out! Know your liquors though....a glass of wine or 2 might ease the tension and set a nice mood. However, vodka gives me a load of energy, and I'm not sure if I want my date to see that much of my wild side on the 1st night!!! 26/F
Hello , I am new to Tango so please just consider this as my first day here.( LOL) Not really, In my opinoin we are to all to eager to catogorize things so they don't get away from us. The best option available first ,last,(Anytime) do what makes you both happy what ever that may be. Wow simple do what makes you both happy.
I think Dave's ideas are great and those were all excellent dating examples. Except the only thing I'm still unsure about is the "herd" advice. I almost tired it once, but it made me feel slutty, even though I never even went out on dates with either of them. And when you start to do that, both guys think they like you and it's hard to let them down if you only pick one. So I say, choose one guy and stick with him. Don't keep your sites set on more then one.
I completely agree with the advice. It is great to do an activity because it calms the nerves and is fun to do. I get to know the person better by interacting with them. This way I can talk to the guy and it doesn't feel too much like an interview. (example: batting cages, mini golf, rollarblading, darts or playing pool) Movies are fun, but not a good idea for the first few dates.
I think going to a movie, and then to dinner is a good first date. You can judge a man well by how he acts when you do something that involves courtesy, like not talking while the movie is going, or how he acts in the popcorn line. If his behavior is bad, you can still ditch. If you find that he is nice, then you can go to dinner, and you also have one common thing to talk about.
Totally agree with the fact that a first date can already feel like an "interview" - so just being who you are - and doing something together - meeting there is best for me - that you both already find easy and comfortable has worked for me. I am now facing a blind date - which I havent done since High School - I always just meet people naturally - so seems to be an un-natural concept for me - but we shall see. I might not rule it out just yet,,,as my parents met that way - and have been married for 20 years. I have learned - be yourself and tactful and kind and sincere right away - be truthful about what you want or don't bother. Good luck and happy dating. ;)
I find standard "dating" artificial and not conducive to getting past the masks and shields we all use. I prefer persuing my usual interests and inviting a woman along for something I'd usually do alone. Skiing, cooking class, shopping for clothes or camping supplies, bike ride, whatever. Or joining in her activities, if she's not too timid. Much less pressure if there's some focus other than the interview, and more showing instead of telling.
I find movies to be a good first date because it gives me a good starting point to start conversations. I can ask about favorite movies or favorite scary movies and that branches out to other areas of conversation. Also I think its hard to fill two hours of conversation with a new person so this is a good buffer. Also I think a first date around friends is great it is a good comfort zone. Also it allows your date to see that other people like you and accept you so you may be ok to get to know. Its a general stamp of approval
