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Garrett’s view is that doing something exciting and new for a period of time—“Go to the Galapagos! Take up piano!”—can actually be a plus for returning to the workforce. “If I were asked in an interview what I’ve been doing for the last year,” she hypothesizes, “I would make the year sound so damn fabulous and refreshing that it would be the envy of anyone who’s interviewing me!”

More frightening to most people than any difficulty re-entering the job market, however, is surviving on a single paycheck while you’re out of it. Overcoming this concern is at the heart of adopting the taking-turns mentality. No two-income couple can choose the trade-off route without cutting back. Cris and Mark sold off a car. Another couple, Debbie and Pat E., drink cheaper wine. Laura M. and Graham C. go to fewer concerts; they’ve quit shopping at the upscale market; and if they eat out, says Laura, “it’s the burrito thing.”

The trouble is that, for many, such cutbacks are far from enough. “The problem of couples today,” says financial expert Hayden, who has a two-and-a-half year waiting list for her consulting services, “is that they spend up to what they make when they’re both working.” With rent and clothes and loan payments already demanding two salaries, how do you get down to one? “I talk to my clients about what I call under-consuming, a concept they don’t even think of.” In short, “you need to make sure that your lifestyle isn’t leveraging both incomes.”

It’s a difficult proposition these days. But couples who plan for time-outs and life-changes find ways to beat the need for double paychecks. “When we bought a house in 1993,” says Cris G., “we went against the prevailing advice, which was to buy as much house as you could afford. Even though we were both working, we bought a house we could afford on one income.”

Steve H. and Clancy D. landed subsidized housing provided by the seminary, and Debbie E. and her husband had spent so many exhausting years climbing their professional ladders, they’d accumulated enough savings to accommodate a change.There’s a third great obstacle, however, to the taking-turns lifestyle: Evidently, many modern couples are still years away from transcending old-fashioned gender roles. Even when women work, both men and women tend to see the woman’s income as discretionary—as, in Hayden’s words, “volunteer work with a bonus.” To achieve the flexibility Hayden espouses, women may face new pressures to earn more. Desperate Housewives fans will remember the look of shock on Lynette Scavo’s face when her husband, Tom, announced he’d start doing the rough work of taking care of the home while she went back to her high-powered career. But for guys, the take-turns approach can be impossible to imagine. “A lot of times they react with disbelief,” says Hayden. “They just don’t believe taking time off is possible. Sometimes they laugh and get nervous, but after we talk about it, they experience relief.”